put your hand in mine, put your heart in mine - Chapter 3 - afuturememory (2024)

Chapter Text

[28th january – 7th february 2021]

Hawkeye was too subtle of a word for Pari, Mahima noticed.

However, it described the half-Indian woman in the best sense at her and Khurshid observed their cousin watch their other cousin. It was like a tennis match with only Pari playing as Lys was in her own world. Pari had picked up on something none of them was seeing. The newly engaged couple silently agreed with each other as they watched their cousin congratulate Vida on proposing to her now-fiancée. That threw them all as they knew Vida had broken things off with her long-time girlfriend of 4 years and returning with said ex-girlfriend as a fiancée, was a shock, to say the least.

Thankfully, they don’t dive into it as Yemaya comes in dancing and steals everyone’s sore eyes. The Afro-Latina was moving her body to with her bottle in her head as Holland followed behind with the song, they all knew. Mizgin, Khurshid, Mahima, Elaheh and Fardokht with bright eyes, hands ready to clap in beat at the 2-year-old's rhythm that was making them laugh at how she got Eylo to play it.

[♫Sabry Aalil♫]

i am not coming to tell you

‘come back’, ‘listen’

because my patience is very low

Aisha’s head pops up from where she was talking to Baba Mais, and he laughs at how comedic the timing was. He tells her something Khurshid knew was a dad joke as Aisha hides her face with laughter and he hugs her with the most ‘proud baba’ look on his face.

every time you run away

i'll get back closer for what?

you are keeping me up all night

Kim joins the girls clapping as they form a loose circle around where the 2-year-old was dancing and watching everyone with a glint in her eyes. She knew she was the main character. Maman had no qualms with giving up the spotlight and as the birthday woman joined clapping for Yemaya, her toothy grin made all the girls ‘aw’.

Khurshid and Alysiah really commit to this part in the song as Yemaya looks at her two Masis and they don’t disappoint with how they feel the song’s lyrics through their veins with a performance.

you have taken away my soul, life and years

and left me with a broken heart

your love is controlling me

torturing me and showing me hell

Kim and Aisha’s claps were the loudest and Eylo wondered how their hands didn’t sting red from the force of the clap. A dance circle forms around the 2-year-old as they repeat the lyrics sung with a faster beat. Eylo gets down on his knees and dances at Yemaya’s level which has the 2-year-old giving her bottle to Aisha as she dances with her Amu. Holland grins at Yemaya runs into Aisha’s arms at her dance at everyone compliments how well she did. The 2-year-old grins in the comfort of her parent’s arms.

Usually, Alysiah watching over Yemaya as she sleeps doesn’t raise any concern for the half-Iranian woman. However, that was before the energy Lys came in with. That was before Lys teared up as everyone surrounding them sang happy birthday to Maman.

When Khurshid, Mahima, Kim, Aisha and Bariqa saw her, it was before Anya had entered Alysiah’s life.

The change was happening right before their eyes and as much as it was a surprise to them, they had empathized with the woman as to how overwhelming the experience might be for her.

That’s why when Aisha enters to tell her that they’re leaving, she forgets her wording as she looks at the half-Iranian woman, quiet as she was deep in thought.

“Toshi?”

“Little king.” She holds her hand out for Aisha to come closer and she does. They both sit on the bed as Yemaya soundly sleeps. “You okay?”

Aisha smiles like it was the silliest question to ask her when that’s all anyone wanted to ask Lys. “I’m here.”

“Yeah...you have a great daughter.” Lys smiles as she looks at their hands. “Seeing her puts everything in perspective. Ba and Bappu will treasure her because it’s you they see when they look at her.”

Aisha’s raspy sleep filling voice glances at Lys admiring her sleeping Yemaya. “They’re not the only ones who share that view.”

“Ah, Parineeti. It gets me right here.” Lys angles her chin towards her heart showing where it hurt. “How are you holding up with Amara? I haven’t been able to ask with everything’s been happening.”

“It’s okay, everyone else has been so I feel the support all around.” Aisha thinks about her answer. “I was preparing for all options and Amara chooses one that I didn’t plan for.”

“Love will always surprise you.”

“The thing is I would have managed if she decided to leave me or buy a house that we’d parent Yemaya in or only co-parent separately. This brings us even closer, and it sends me to the stars, how on Earth did I find a soulmate like her? One that’ll stick by me and walk shoulder-to-shoulder with me. And trust me, I know I’m asking for a lot, and she does life with me.”

“You [two] promised a forever to each other.”

“It’s the old trust issues, I can’t believe that I live that with her.”

“You don’t think you deserve it?”

“Perks of being a Wallflower, there’s a quote that says ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’. I think all 3 of us haven’t and it’s changed our life for the better. We get to honor, cherish and live by a love that surpasses our wildest dreams. A love that grows in adversity, a love that elevates you, a love that comforts you when all you know is fighting.”

“You reckon we were ready to receive that love? The love we all gave each other in the lake house? I know I felt it, like something I was waiting for my entire life. Suddenly right in front of me and I’m mad with joy. ”

“Maybe, we weren’t ready at all, and the love showed us how ready we were underneath all of that ‘i don’t care’ layers.”

“Survival layers.”

“Do you think that we’d be able to accept any other love if it wasn’t from us? I think about that sometimes. ”

“There are some things that feel so right, and we have always felt like that to me. The level of comfort we had with each other; you can’t replicate that with someone else. I’m sorry to say [that]. It had to be us in that lake house for that time. There are certain things in this world that had to happen for us to be where we are right now. ”

“You really believe that?”

“I think that not believing that makes life harder. More questions to confusion that won’t be doused.”

Aisha poses the question to the half-Iranian woman. “What else do you believe or have been thinking a lot about? I’m curious now.”

Alysiah smiles at the small bit of Farsi Aisha was learning. “How messy the process is. Like you’ve so eloquently put it, nothing is guaranteed and when it works out in the best way possible, it feels almost too good to be true.”

“Like you need to earn it?”

“That’s the trauma speaking, innit?”

“It can be a lot of things speaking, the most confusing part might be that it’s your own voice. It might be little you saying ‘well, we didn’t do this when XYZ happened and we were okay’ and if you really think about it, you might realize...”

“...that we were never really okay with it. We had to live with it, move the discomfort of it a skosh over and murder the next day that came for us.”

“Going through the day and not really processing it.”

They both say it, “Survival.”

“Is that why you choose a profession that embraces that feminine energy or allows you to have your guard down?”

“It’s the most daring adventure you can initial for. Eyes do most of the talking. Love transforms itself into a shared language and it's one that they can hear. Human emotions run high, that’s why this line of work takes some of our strongest.” Alysiah sadly smiles.

“It wasn’t a part of the plan in the slightest. It happened and it kept on happening. I found a footing that no other field could give me. The ability to dive to the deepest parts of the ocean and connect with animals who know nothing of me and I of them. To meet animals who have been through the farthest pits of hell and place them in a jannah so unbelievably kind to them, they, themselves question why. It’s heartbreaking and healing all at the same time.” She tilts her head at the thoughts of being in that divine feminine energy.

“I thought I’d never get to this part, you know? Maman tried her best with me. Nyasia did what she could. And still, when I try with my fur loves, it makes all the difference in the world to me. They don’t care about the screw-ups or the trauma or anything that prevents me from acting because a lot does hold me back. All they need me to be is all in, right there with them.”

Aisha watches that thoughtful gaze that Alysiah had as she looked at her daughter. It wasn’t Alysiah who seeked out Yemaya, the 2-year-old gravitated towards the half-Iranian woman. She felt the sad energy in Alysiah and Khurshid.

Khurshid had wished her mother was able to see her engagement to Mahima.

Alysiah was working through her trauma, happier that she was making memories with her brother and on edge about what she could feel for Anya.

Traveling revealed a lot for Alysiah and Holland’s company added another layer of discovery and learning to a place Lys was happy she had for Ols.

Alysiah combs through Yemaya’s curls and Aisha softens at how easily that mask slipped off in the presence of non-threatening humans. The mask came off for family, for her girls, for her brother.

______________________________________________________________________________

Jennifer pauses, “Manuelos has taken a strong liking for Angel Grassu, do we know why?”

Bosley frowns at the question she hadn't thought to answer before, “Personal reasons that she has yet to disclose. I’m not sure Grassu herself knows.”

Jennifer looks at Cove whose raised eyebrows speak for themselves. She speaks as Jen acknowledges her, “Manuelos doesn’t have any trace of family which opens up the floor for found family to tie into whatever connection Manuelos seeks with Agent Nehal.”

“They weren’t born in the same place, no schooling or any trace of Khai’s birth mother linked to Manuelos in Toronto. “It must be something Khai did on recruitment. Any theories, Dr. Jay?”

“Khai serves as a symbol of hope to Manuelos. Given her background of being wrapped up in the wrong crowd by birth, Khai wasn’t able to choose similar to Manuelos. They were both able to get out through an extended period of suffering. Manuelos has been in training far longer than Khai has been. However, Khai can model a life that Manuelos hope she would have had.”

Jennifer adds in the last piece, “If her circ*mstances didn’t lead her to the life she tried to have, understood.”

Bosley suggests, “Then, it might help if we lessen the restrictions on Khai and Manuelos. Cruz has proven herself to be a great asset. Maybe, more trainings can make or break her to see if she really wants this.”

Jennifer gets on board with that idea, “She hasn’t betrayed her nation, she holds the secrets and lets go of them as our Angels complete the missions. She knew about AIPAC and when it came back as success, I saw her eyes. They are tears in them that she didn’t let fall for whatever reason she had.”

Cove says it as Bosley thought it, “You believe in her potential.”

Jen signs off on the final notes for Cruz’s file. “Sometimes, it takes one experience to change everything.” She says it as the next person on the file loads and all of their eyes laser focus on the signed document from Dr. Elena Houghlin put in Tuesday evening.

Marzina thinks back to what happened that day, the day Alysiah returned home. Lys’ team was at home, and Marzina knew Kim was with her the whole day. Perhaps, during reading one of her books, the half-Indian woman had time to self-reflect and made the decision that all five of their eyes stared at.

Jax, Cove, Bosley, Jen and Marzina looked at the document Elena acknowledging her feelings for the case she created. A document she signed with family members and cases she was emotionally too close to. This one was different and boy, did it show.

Supervision meetings didn’t terrify Marzina one bit. Stone-cold expressions and a poker face that Yosai had literally trained her for. But this. This was something different and in the four different expressions, they knew it too. Dr. Houghlin was a lot of things, honesty being one of the main ones.

Her honesty here was different, she was admitting to something they were all concerned about. What Marzina was glad that they focused on wasn’t the fact that Kim was blatantly admitting that she was getting closer to Trini and would comply to Townsend Agency guidelines in the case progress but the fact that this was a high-stake case with the Mexican cartel.

To be concerned about Trini’s safety was valid, a woman who had a target point on her and lived vibrantly with the right safety measures. PALMS was increasing it where they felt fit.

Marzina was prepared for questions around Trini, however, that wasn’t the one that came out of Jennifer’s mouth.

“What relationship does Khai have with Elena?”

The question’s directed to Marzina and the systems engineer could tell that Bosley wanted to answer, “I’d say one of admiration. My sister has grown fond of Elena, which speaks to the dynamic we have. She’s identified her as a someone she feels safe with.” The screen shows Elena holding Khai’s head towards her as fire from Sam’s team members flared around them.

Cove and Jennifer’s mind immediately would have went to romantic if they didn’t know how caring both Angels were. Elena put her life on the line for her team members time-after-time and Khai was no different.

Bosley thinks back to Aisha and Kim’s file, Stella had encrypted the files of their family history. Anyone who wanted to access that would have to go through her for that and that was a different branch.

Though Bosley could easily access it through her friendship, she’d go through the hierarchy. Cove speaks, “Dr. Jay, you’re certain that Dr. Houghlin made this decision on her own? Without anyone’s influence? It isn’t irreversible and Ms. Ibarra is someone that she went to the LAPD about.” Asher and Jess had a fiery introductory meeting with Kim.

“No. And I don’t believe Khai would either.” She stares at all of them, calling out what they thought. “I’m not sure how familiar you all are with the details of Khai’s recruitment case, there was a point where if the mission had gotten to the point of severity we had anticipated, she would have to disappear.” Marzina pauses, full stop.

“And she was prepared to.” That earns a subtle reaction of an eye widening reaction that Jennifer hides very well, but Cove’s subtle twitch of her finger gives her away.

Jax has a question in his eyes and Marzina’s ending statement answers it. “A newly wed wife and a 2-year-old girl.” Aisha had understood the parameters of what Townsend could offer her. It was a price that she paid for the organization she had joined, and she would have paid it.

“Should we arrange a meeting to discuss this with Elena, if you’re having doubts, Jen?”

“Elena is many things, going softly into the night isn’t one of them. Hold off on the meeting, I’d like to hold a meeting with her about any updates in the case late next mon...” Another notification pops up and truth be told, it’s for the woman of the hour.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Come on, Houghlin.”

Bosley couldn’t hide her dismay at the confirmed information, programmed by Elena’s devices to upload once ready and logged in. Cove reads it out for them, “A car accident that endangered one of Elena’s family members, it was linked to the man who we framed Sam for.” Cove says that while keeping her gaze on Marzina and the green-eyed woman doesn’t flinch. It was a sign of power and boy, did Marzina have fun with that.

Jax signs, “We knew that.” Cove nods.

“The brakes in the car accident were malfunctioning outside of the car, they were being blocked by blockers in that specific area. It was a tester and it worked. The car was wrecked.”

“Did the passengers survive? It was two of them, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Two of them, yes, both are alive.”

Cove scans through the work with a smile that showed how much of a fangirl she was over Elena, “Dr. Houghlin’s proposal needs your permission to utilize her prototype on Townsend grounds for trail runs.”

“Never cease to amaze me, Houghlin.” She finishes off her signature on the blue screen with a dot and it’s sent in the system to Elena’s homepage under Approved Projects.

_________________________________________________________________________________

It was late, Trini was running late. Out of all the Sunday’s for her to run late, she didn’t want it to be her last. Specifically, after the last Sunday they had together, they had gotten tipsy. Now, she was rushing out of her home with her phone, wallet and keys. Putting on the heat to blast her so her hair would dry was an understatement as she reached Kim’s home in 6 minutes.

She notices a man who was pulling off with a speed and she isn’t looking where she’s going as she mindlessly enters the mud room. She’s shaking off forming theories as to who that familiar looking man was before she bumps into her.

Her mind mentally goes ‘oh’ as she realizes who it was and how delicious they smelled, god , did Kim’s jasmine scent smell so good. Bumping into her put them both centimeters from each other.

Trini drinks in the sight of Kim.

Gosh, was she radiant up close. Was this how it felt to be close to the sun? Mesmerized by its beauty and held in its gaze as if it slowed down everything on the axis, giving you its divine attention?

Kim doesn’t move away and neither does Trini, bound together by that invisible string they both found themselves filling the pull towards each other about.

It’s when Trini swallows hard that Kim’s eyes trail down from her jawline to her neck and back up to her eyes, smiling as Trini’s chocolate orbs weren’t afraid. This was a pleasant parallel to that night in Trini’s home.

Kim tilts her head at Trini with a smile that said more than Kim would.

The half-Indian woman had yet to admit that she cared or loved Trini; her actions said it all and more, like this smile that held some sort of secrecy that Trini knew.

The 5’1” woman steps back from their silent eye lock, effectively breaking it as she adjusts the neck of her white henley. The honey-orbed woman’s gaze stays on her as Trini continues into the home, without sparing another look.

Warm apple pie reaches Trini’s nostrils as she leaves her coat on the loveseat by the door and drags her fingertips against the top of the stackable center couch. Kim watches her go, the thoughts of that night in Trini’s home and how familiar Trini’s hands felt rush to Kim’s mind.

It takes her back a bit because this was one of those moments, she was able to identify of letting Trini in and maybe beginning to want more.

The woman in question turns like she had asked a question; Kim swore she heard her say something about her Kith shirt that was in the reading nook.

“Pardon, you said something?”

Trini turns after having spoken nothing. “I, yeah, wow... ” Trini closes her eyes, finding her train of thought after hearing how f*cking hot Kim’s accent was, Dito. She grins to herself, and Kim finds it to be the hottest thing ever as she motions towards Kim’s tie-dyed KITH white long-sleeved shirt. “I was going to wear mines today...what happened to yours?”

Kim meets her halfway while discussing her morning at Amara’s. “Yavs wanted to create your candle’s smell and we changed halfway when Zam and Bub found us after skating.”

“That’s cool, where’d they go, the rink, LA Kings or Skating Edge?” Trini asks as they both settled into the bay window seats.

“ Neither, it’s in her backyard.” Kim admits it as she’s fixing her necklaces. She misses Trini’s amusem*nt.

“She rented a skating rink in her backyard?”

“No, she built it.” Trini blinks in partial shock. “ They both miss Amara and Yavs voiced it a bit more. Skating’s one of Amara’s favorite things to do. Especially with Obi.”

“Unrelated but what’d you do break in for?” Kim frowns, gearing up to read Trini right from wrong as the Latina clarifies. “B&E for the house on 6th [Avenue]?” Kim recognizes it as Trini’s old home.

“Clothes.” Kim speaks with her eyes directed at Trini’s. She searches her eyes as she explains.

“I stole your clothes. I eventually donated them; I didn’t want to see someone else wearing them on terms that weren’t mines. I had seen someone wearing something that you gave the twins when Aisha and I went to the airport to see Masi. I didn’t like that, and I changed it.”

“I feel less guilty for stealing your scent now.”

“You weren’t the only one who looked for comfort in us. ” Trini looks up, eyes dancing with Kim’s golden orbs as the half-Indian woman adds more information. “It went through a relief aid company that we had all went to the laundromat for, your clothes were washed to get out your scent to be able to pass them onto other children. Why’d you ask?”

Trini motions to her white henley t-shirt, “This is Mami’s shirt, and I don’t know it came to my mind when I saw your shirt.”

Kim sees Trini smoothing her outfit out.

It slowly ties together that she was looking at a mirror of herself.

They were both in their respective colors wearing a piece of their mother on them. White henley long sleeves and KITH sweatpants. Kim had her pink Filing Pieces Essential Core Logo Soft Pink Sweatpants and Trini donned her Essential Garden Yellow Sweatpants.

Kim’s mind noted that before saving it for later brainstorming. “That’s sweet, do you and your mom share a lot of clothes?”

“Yeah, actually. I share most of my clothes with her. But then again, everyone steals from me so that birthday present was well-thought out.”

Kim smiles and her eyes sparkle along. “Don’t tell me I’ll need to watch out for Elliot and Raul wearing your clothes. They wouldn’t be best suited for all of the JZD merch you have, however,” Trini grins at Kim’s faux thinking face. “...I don’t doubt that they couldn’t pull it off.”

“Elliot’s killing it, he’s passing with flying colors.”

“Obviously.”

“Raul’s entering his soft boy era where it’s healing and being the ‘boring friend’ over hanging out and being the reckless one, so he goes for my monochromatic clothes.”

“What does everyone else choose?”

“Mami, sweatpants and my hats, she loves a good hat. My skincare too. I haven’t run out of anything, and it’s been months.” Kim chuckles and Trini’s scrunched up face shows that she knew the refills were made without her knowledge of them ever being empty. “Sof, t-shirts, work pants, and jackets. Isa, work shirts, shampoo, home clothes, my baggy sweatpants that I wear at home and my hoodies. Anya, everything, nothing is safe.” Kim snorts. “Nic goes for my masks and serums. And Papi goes for my sweatpants too and my t-shirts because I saw him wear my oversized pink vasectomy shirt yesterday.”

Kim watches Trini wrap herself in the blanket. “The ‘Against abortion? Get a vasectomy’ shirt? Top tier behavior.”

Trini’s eyes soften. “Not to get him wrong, he’s such an annoying brother, he’ll provoke and tease the sh*t outta his cousins and he’ll have the entire house in chaos. The dogs are howling, and he’ll be right there with them giving us all a headache when the ambulance has passed five minutes ago. You wouldn’t think that he’s the reason for our high standards. I’ll never have to warm up my car in the mornings or worry about the maintenance of anything related to the house. Anything I want built, he’s already in Lowe’s getting the supplies. Marianismo doesn’t exist there.” She rests back into the window, the blanket protecting her against the cold temperature.

“He was raised by a woman, and you can tell is what I’m hearing.”

“Definitely a woman. It’s how easily our guard comes down with him. Maybe, it’s how he knew exactly what to say when Sof had her first breakdown in front of us or that I’m stubborn enough to fight about not going to the doctor but if you physically take me, I’ll go .”

Kim draws it together based on much she learned Trini loved her family, “It wouldn’t be for you , though.”

“Not that point they were okay with it being for them. It was bad.”

“Did it eventually be for you?”

“Yeah, we all want to help each other and we kinda get over involved...which isn’t a good thing and another distraction that takes from our problems. That’s why Anya got angry at me last time, I was focused on her and didn’t want to deal with that one elephant in the room.”

“It’s not easy to deal with them, they hit back...” Trini glances at Kim with amusem*nt and understanding in her eyes. “.... unprovoked.”

“I say all of that to say that Papi’s friends smoke a lot of weed and baked mac-and-cheese was great except I was the only one baked.” Kim guffaws at that, her hand pressing against her mouth and the bottom of her nose.

Mac-and-cheese infused with weed, Kim could only picture how humorous of a discovery it was as Cedro had waited for Trini outside. “I took a few shots in your presence. Maybe, it wasn’t exactly the same amount of inebriation, however, you weren’t alone.” Kim adjusts her blanket around her hips and lap.

“You had the good tequila.” Trini’s pride swells as she stares at the woman, she was catching feelings for. Using her language was another tell of Trini’s smitten self. “A woman of range.”

“ Always.” Kim’s eyes fall to Trini who takes out her phone and Kim thinks the questions would be done there but she finds herself admitting it to Trini. “Both of them.”

Trini looks up.

“I like hearing you talk about both. You can tell that your guard falls, and you slip into that feminine energy, the one where you allow people to take care of you. It’s effortless and a routine like you can close your eyes and let it happen. You deserve that care and I’m glad you have it.” There’s something about the way Kim says it like she’s holding it close to her heart. Like it was a wish she had hoped for that to be fulfilled. It’s the way she looks at Kim, earnest as day as she says it that has the Latina’s voice with a soft tone above a whisper.

“Thanks.”

“You’re most welcome.” Kim glances at the first card and Trini thanks Dito that she goes for it because Trini’s heartbeat was practically in her ears. “Who is someone that has forgiven you in the past, that you’re grateful for to this day?”

“My London girl from New York. I didn’t intend on falling back in love with my hometown and bringing Aisha back there encompasses how earth shatteringly beautiful her presence in my life is. My definition of love stems from her, like unconditional support and what showing up for someone means. Our understanding of each other was something we immediately had. A lot of it was unspoken and not wrong by any means. It's not entirely deep as it seems, I apologize for what the town has put her through. She’s seen what I’ve dealt with and somehow, I think it was worse for her because she didn’t know why this unprovoked hate was being thrown at her because we share a last name.”

“Was Krispy Kreme part of that too?”

“ That was negligence. He wasn’t a fan of us either, ” Trini scrunches her face up at the mention of it and Kim’s eyes smile as she continues. “.. . but it wasn’t directed at us. I know the newspaper articles can make it seem like that, it wasn’t.”

Trini’s cautious and warm, inviting eyes search for Kim’s honey orbs who were there somehow giving off the impression that she was staring the same amount of time Trini did to her. “ You know that what this town does to her isn’t your fault, right?”

“I--”

“The same way how this town reacts to me and you being in the same place at the same time isn’t your fault either.”

“Well, ---”

“--not your fault.”

“It’s---”

“--not your fault, Kim. Come on, heartthrob, you really think you’re that powerful to control what people will say?”

Kim smirks. “Priya thinks so.” The mayor’s daughter was someone they had both seen last week walking through the town with her fiancée.

Trini can’t help the eye roll she does as Kim guffaws. She wasn’t going to let Kim win. “I don’t really think someone going after a married woman counts but go for it, Hart.”

Kim raises a challenging eyebrow at Trini. “And I thought I was bad when it comes to Aisha.”

“She tried to go after Anya! I almost broke the door trying to keep Priya away. Don’t come after my best friend, I’ll go from roomie to wife in 2 seconds. And I’ll talk about our non-existent kids too.”

“Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. Absolute gold. ”

It warrants another eye roll with a smile that Trini couldn’t hide and Kim stares at her, exhaling at the sight that she would miss on the Sundays to follow this one. “Picture you’re talking to your ex. Finish the sentence: You hurt me,...” Trini’s voice softens. “...and thank you for this. All of this. Thank you for being here. Inviting me in. Being honest.”

God, Trini wanted to say so much more but all that comes out is... “I feel safe around you...” Kim’s lips part at that and Trini quickly covers it. “...and this. You being real with me...”

She fleetingly glances up and Kim’s recovered. “...gave peace to the Trini that left loving you, like she can finally breathe now. Like, she’s peacefully died and this version of me can be family friends with you.” She adds the last part to focus on another piece of ice instead of revealing her feelings a bit more. “Even when you’re walking away from me talking to you or walking around with dagger heels?”

“Those heels were everything,” Kim closes her eyes in appreciation and her head tilts her up to the side and Trini rakes her eyes over Kim’s face. Gosh, she was pretty. The sunlight from the bay window was hitting her just right where the light sheen on Kim’s sunscreen was visible. Her skin looked like it sparkled, and Kim’s head tilted back where Trini could see her earrings with her Nana’s zodiac sign on them.

She opens as she smugly admits. Her voice goes a bit lower, and Trini sighs at it internally. “...I regret nothing. Ba had asked Zack about it when we were all home, and he went red in the face about being caught in his lie. It was very satisfying.” Trini narrows her eyes, seeing the mischievous side of Kim flare in her eyes. The best kind of troublemaker.

Her troublemaker reads from the card next with a snort at first glance, “What is your heart telling you?” She looks directly at Trini and Trini’s laughter seizes in her throat and how direct that was.

“What is your mind telling you?” She glances at the warm apple pie candle lit.

Chocolate orbs trace the profile on her face from the slope of her nose to the slope of her neck. It looked like she had found the answer by gazing at the candle. Somehow, Trini knew how that felt like as she had looked at Kim countless times and found the answer to her questions. “One's telling me that there was always going to be a time where we met again.” Trini’s heart slams against her rib cage at the hope in Kim’s voice, it was there and present and breathed into the air that existed between them. It wasn’t a figure of Trini’s imagination, the same hope that she had returned to Angel City with, it was there all along.

“The other’s whispering why,”

Kim turns to look at Trini and god, was that a mistake at how brown those chocolate orbs were. Trini had craned her head and leaned over to see where Kim was staring at. Dried flower bouquets and book page bouquets of flowers hung from the top of the reading nook. She places her hand against the window for support and is instantly taken back by how Kim turns at the same time.

Looking at the half-Indian woman through her fluffy eyelashes was elevating Kim’s heartrate, she could smell the willow bark, lemongrass and lavender on her skin. “...despite all of these Sunday’s together, we never once ran away from the demons of it all, we were committed to the comfort both of us gave to each other.”

Trini knew it was the mind first and then the heart, but her heart pulled on her answer first. “It’s the same reason why you’d defend me against the entire world and I for you.” June and Todd go unspoken for Kim and car crash and Esmeralda for Trini.

Trini says it like it was the simplest thing in the world to admit and Kim’s eyes soften at the serenity in them that she sees as Trini’s eyes notice a few warm apple candles lit around the corners inside of the reading nook. "There’s something that will always link us back to each other that’s bigger than our misunderstandings and miscommunication.”

It was that invisible string, right at the edge of Trini’s tongue to say and yet, as she glanced into Kim’s golden orbs, the words couldn’t leave her mouth.

What does leave her mouth is “And this time I’m not sorry that it’s an inconvenience.”

Kim wouldn’t admit it anytime soon and Trini understood the health reason behind it. However, that wasn’t Trini’s problem, the Latina was living her truth.

Kim holds her breath, unknowingly to herself as the Universe watched her finally accept the crush she had on the Mexicana.

“I’m always going to love you.”

Trini sits back into her seat on the bay window. The sunlight showcasing her handprint on the windowpane. It was as if Kim was now visible to Kim that it was the same one imprinted on her heart. Kim’s eyes not leaving hers add to how attentive they both were to each other.

“Work through that if it bothers you but we’ve spent Sunday’s together, and this is what co-existing really looks like.” The gentle smile on Trini’s face showed that the reference to that day in Dadu’s family den, Trini didn’t hold any malice towards Kim. Them talking to each other with acknowledging their history was all Trini wanted, a simple connection.

Kim says it like her heart wasn’t pounded against her chest, “We know how important it is to be here for each other and ourselves.”

Trini agrees, “That’s more like it.”

Kim giggles at Trini’s Gujarati before she moves onto the next card. “Who in your life has been treating you right lately? Let them know before moving onto the next card.” Trini hums before pulling out her phone and tapping twice before Kim hears the call connecting to none other than Elliot.

“Hey, T.”

“Dolorito, ¿que haces?”

He exhales like he was now realizing how deep of a browsing search he was in. “Cabinets, so many of them. There’s so many of them that fold and hide and the shapes, T. A 3D carved pattern with Tambour wooden rolling doors. I can hide all of our games inside, childproof.”

“And your Lego’s.”

“Everything, T. Snacks, the whole set-up. ” He laughs. “I’m on a deep dive, you called, what’s up? ”

“One of those deep dive thoughts.”

He guffaws at Trini’s verbiage. “Alright, I’m ready, hit me.”

“I’m about to.” Elliot braces himself. “I think the place that we’ve come from in our childhood doesn’t reflect where we are now, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the chance I’m given to be your cousin. Honestly and truly, I didn’t get it then and I wasn’t going to. Here, where we are, literally and figuratively, we had to be here to be able to go on cousin dates together, running errands together, staying up late and chatting and building this safe space that we didn’t grow up having together. These are the reasons why I’m here. I wholeheartedly appreciate you, primo. Te quiero muchismo.”

“T...” His watery plea of Trini’s name has her chuckling. “...I love you so much, cousin. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this without your support, it means the world to me. Being able to, f*ck, you went right for the jugular! What if I was weak hearted? Dito!” Trini can hear the loud sniffle and how the 2 huskies gather around Elliot to see why he was crying. His watery chuckle tells her that much. “Being able to build a home here with the people I love, I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me this was my life 5 years ago.”

Chocolate eyes rise to see those warm golden orbs sparkle as Trini admitted to Elliot while holding Kim’s gaze, “Yeah, a lot can happen in 5 years.”

The small upturns towards the side of Kim’s mouth and how those golden orbs stay locked onto her, tracing the slope of her nose, around her cheekbones and almost tempted to swim in her eyes. It’s a high that Trini’s heart races on like a horse running across the shore, beating the sun in an invisible race against time.

“I’m sobbing and the babies are----”

“---No, I’m sorry, I promise it’s happy tears, Sunny, Rosco.”

There are a few licking sounds and Trini doesn’t hear the rest, her ‘take care’ is said and the phone call ends without Trini’s gaze ever leaving Kim’s and boy, does that do wonders for Kim’s pounding heart.

“The dogs are eating him?”

“The dogs are definitely going to town on his face.”

Kim admits with an observant crinkle in her brow. “Rosco likes to jump on him.”

Trini smiles, feeling for her card. “It’s because he’s seen Dani do it every time she comes home from work and flops on him.” She holds her card up before facing it down.

Kim picks up her card with a silent chuckle. “How forgiving are you towards yourself on a scale of 1-10? How can you increase your answer by 1 point?” She grins in that guilty way that Trini knew she wasn’t as kind to herself as she was to others with forgiveness. She’s about to start searching, her silent way of saying she’d rather take a shot than answer the question when Trini calls her out on it in the same silent way.

The Latina flicks her thumb against her palm before motioning like she’s holding a blunt and angling her head towards the door, all saying that they could go outside to smoke, since Kim didn’t want to answer the question.

Kim chuckles and Trini bathes in the sound. “Why is forgiveness so hard on yourself? You’re able to do it, really well, can I say, with other people.”

“Thanks, I, it’s not, hm. It’s not an easy standard that I hold myself to. Although I do give myself some grace, ---”

“You should have all of it.”

“--Are you always this---”

“---supportive, yes. ”

“--I can tell. It’s very---”

“---aggressive?”

Kim makes a face at the word, pursing her lips up. “--well, no...” She shakes her head. “...but yes.”

Trini softly chuckles and it’s low and raspy, pulling at Kim’s heartstrings. “It’s okay, you can call me aggressive. I’ll take it in that context. ” Kim smiles. “However,” Trini raises a challenging brow. “...you not being kind to yourself, that is...something I hope you’d want to change because you are capable to forgiveness and having that level of empathy for yourself.”

Kim’s downcast eyes smile at Trini’s shadow. “It’s an area of my life that many people question why I appear so indifferent. You won’t understand it until you’re seeing the entirety of it. And yes, while I’d like the number to be higher, it’s not.”

“How can the people around you support you?”

“They already are, it’s me. Lys has no qualms about pinning me in the bathtub to eat food because she’s not surviving in this lifetime without me, and she needs someone to spoil because what’s the point of it?”

“Oh my god, she sounds like Anya...” Trini’s shock makes Kim quirk an eyebrow. When Trini’s expression goes to mortified, Kim presses her lips together at it. “...or worse, me. That’s insane because I literally told Anya to come back home so she can rob me blind. If I can’t spoil my girls, then what’s the point?”

Kim raises an amused eyebrow at Trini who shrugs as she smiles, accepting that she said what she said. “For someone who was shell shocked to see her, you’re drawing a lot of similarities.”

Trini gives Kim a close-lipped smile, Trini was reigning in how she felt about Alysiah. There was so much to discuss there, Trini hadn’t processed all of it. “We’re not going to talk about that either especially when Anya’s thinking about to get--- yeah. ”

Kim glances over Trini another time and she could swore she heard her say marriage. “It’s okay, I’ll give you an out.”

Trini nods her head as she raises her two figures in a saluting way. “'ppreciate it.”

“Meems, Âbji, Jai, Baldız, a hug from---”

“Amara?”

“Actually, yeah, both [Jai and Amara]. Separately, not that they aren’t a good tag team together, I’ve only seen Baldız hug Jai when Aisha was missing. An art display reminded her of her.” Kim admits with a close-lipped smile before glancing to the left where Trini was smiling at her.

“Hugs solve a lot of things. I’m happy you have them supporting you every step of the way.”

“This aggressive support, is it a New York thing?”

Trini glares at Kim who cheekily smiles as the Latina picks up the next card, ignoring her question. “How forgiving are you of other people on a scale of 1-10? How can you increase your answer by 1 point? I’m going to be really honest because the last person that I thought about forgiving was Esme.” Trini searches her eyes and Kim holds onto what she felt inside. It was the space to create her own opinion and sort through her feelings about Esme without Kim’s experiences.

Kim nods for Trini to continue. “I can be a solid 8 on forgiveness, I’m not increasing that for Esme because as long as I’m here, she won’t know peace. And I’ll tag team with the Hart that’ll stand by my wrongdoings without a question.”

“Lys.”

“Amara.”

Kim’s face of surprise, shock and bewilderment would be comical to Trini, if she wasn’t dead serious. “My Lys?” Trini notices something in the reflection of the windowpane and smiles at Kim as her hands work in her hair.

“Your Lys.” Trini angles her body to face the windowpanes Kim was braced against and divides her hair to tie some of it up in a half-up, half-down hairstyle. “If there’s one woman who’s going to have my back, no questions asked, that will go to war for you, it’s her. She can dine and wine you after hurting her hand in a car crash to save you and swerve drunk men, she’s more badass than I imagined her to be...” Kim knows that she should be listening. Words were definitely coming out of Trini’s mouth.

[♫Silent Conversations♫]

[0:00 – 0:15] And still here, she was. Transfixed on the beach waves Trini’s hair had. Her hair wasn’t this wavy before. Then again, Trini wasn’t aware of Trini back then. There was no other way to put it. This Trini was confident, assertive, bashful, honest and attractive, if Kim was being totally honest with herself.

[0:15 – 0:23] Kim breathes out of smile and that seems to be the right response as Trini giggles too. She’s talking and Kim’s listening in the background as her honey orbs latch drags up from her shoulders to her jawline. Kim’s eyes slide on by from it and swirl up to her cheekbones and to her bridge of her nose and how it scrunches as she laughs.

[0:24 – 0:34] Kim takes a breath at that and that’s when she feels it, her heart finding its calm beat. It wasn’t escalating. That only happened with people she trusted, she felt safe with the energy they created.

[0:35 – 0:45] Trini makes final adjustments to her hair and Kim listens to how loud her heart was racing in her chest, the realization leading her gaze to travel towards the candles. Her body wasn’t working in overtime and underperforming. A detail she had been checking. She was calm and safe in her own energy despite being with Trini’s energy.

[0:46 – 0:57] Honey orbs bounce barely focusing on the bay window as she processed this new information and Trini adjusts her stance back to the way it was. Her chocolate orbs catch Kim’s honey orbs as they had both glanced at the same thing. Their gaze dragged back to where it was, and Trini knew Kim was quiet for something more than what she was discussing about Alysiah. She didn’t know what it was under her thoughtful gaze. God, her eyes were captivating in this light.

A piece of Trini hair tickles her neck, and she nervously flicks it away before rubbing the side of her neck. Kim noticed the nervous sign and snaps out of staring at Trini to the next card. It’s a somber look on her face as she reads, “Imagine you’re talking to your ex. Finish the sentence: I’m sorry for vilifying you.”

Kim exhales and her eyes roam the bay window as she finds the words to fully explain what she meant. “I didn’t know how to process everything and manage the balance of the good and bad surrounding our circ*mstances. It was a lot for me then and a lot me to see you back here at such an alarmingly fast pace. You were in the same place as me, eating at the same table and wrapping my head around that wasn’t something I was keen on doing at the time.” Kim shakes her head. “Or at any given time, I didn’t want to deal with any emotions that you stirred up. I think that’s where a lot of my frustration came from.”

Kim’s honey orbs meet Trini’s chocolate ones. “I’m sorry for that day in Dadu’s family room. I...didn’t mean to inflict the same pain you left me with. I didn’t want you to stay because it was harder to see that the hopeful part of me that knew was right. It was harder to confront the fact that I was wrong and despite me giving myself the answers of why you left, you were going to find a way to confront all of those scary thoughts with me.”

Kim gives Trini a close-lipped smile. “Which is the last thing I wanted at the moment. I wanted an uncomplicated summer with my loved ones.”

“I, respectfully, complicated that for you every day I was there.”

“It can be disrespectfully too, I can’t control who else, only myself.”

“I’m sorry that me staying made things difficult for you.”

“Don’t be, there was a part of me that was happy you did. I knew there were reasons bigger than us of why you left and stayed, I needed to step back and see the larger perspective.”

“Well said, Hart.”

“It’s honest...and kept on slipping my mind to tell you. That’s been on my mind to tell you since the second Sunday. I’m genuinely sorry for that day in the den.”

“Kim,” Trini looks into her eyes, making sure that she fully saw her as well as heard her. “...I forgive you, thank you for saying that. It means so much to me you don’t even know.” Kim smiles as a response and Trini sees the number in the corner of Alpha’s blue light that said ‘1’ and her smile fades away.

Kim’s eyebrows furrow seeing the Latina’s gaze wonder around everywhere else besides the last card in the deck that was hers. Trini was actively looking everywhere else.

When Trini’s gaze travels to the reading nook, Kim grins. “Good enough to have you not stall?”

Trini doesn’t seem phased, it looked like Trini wanted to make small talk. Kim wasn’t ever made for small talk. “What?”

She tilts her head and smiles. Trini’s nervous smile appears as her chocolate orbs smile in the sunlight. “You’re stalling. Why? ”

She shrugs like the answer had been pounding her head since all of Sunday’s they started this, Trini didn’t want this to end. “It doesn’t feel like the end. It might be sil--”

Kim cuts her off, not one for the bullsh*t. “It’s not.”

Trini exhales at the safety she felt in those honey orbs. “My Sunday’s will feel off now for a bit, I really enjoyed them with you. That’s it.”

“It’s okay to miss this. This happened so that we could continue it whenever we cross paths.”

“Not having a label on it, I’m okay with that. Are you? Because I don’t think you’d fit into the ‘family friend’ label even though that’s what I’d introduce you as.”

“That’s okay, I never intended to put you in a box that you weren’t ever meant to fit in, right, 200% er?” Everyone had seen the flyers to the Fan Fest in a few weeks, Trini was gearing up for a huge performance.

Trini softly laughs, “Oh, the flyers.”

“You’re going to do great things, I’m glad I can cheer you on now.”

“I really missed you, Kim.”

“You’re getting soft on me, Ibarra.”

“ Let me, I haven’t for a long time, it’s all the grief I’ve released.” Kim gives Trini one of those easy smiles with her hands in her lap like it was the easiest thing in the world for them to both exist in this moment.

Trini eventually picks up the card and she reads it with an amused smile on her face, “Before apologizing ask yourself: What am I saying sorry for? Do I mean it? Or am I acting small for someone else’s comfort?”

Kim cheeses at Trini not wanting their time together to end. “Would it help if I answered this with you?”

“Please."

“I value my comfort the most. Not to say that I won’t value my loved one’s comfort. My peace of mind is my priority. They don’t spend every waking moment with me, I do, and I operate on that time. ”

Trini’s bubbling laugh follows Kim’s emphasis. “Okay, Hounslow, I see you. I respect it too, as ruthless as your disconnections have been, I can understand protecting your own peace.”

“Ruthless?”

“ Ruthless. Rejection hurts. ”

Kim doesn’t seem amused at all, she resembled Mrs. Hart laughing at Mr. Hart that night in the kitchen with the Hart girls. “Does it?”

Trini raises her hands with a cheeky smile that shows it was all an act. “Pardon, I don’t expect you to know anything about that.” The conversation in the kitchen of Mrs. Hart and Kim never being rejected, makes both of them smile.

“I do have nieces and nephews that humble me.”

“Yemaya wouldn’t.”

A genuine soft smile graces Kim’s face, it was her signature Masi smile. There was no possible way Kim could look any softer and talking about Yemaya did just that. “I have other little ones around me.”

“Oh?” Trini chuckles to herself. “I guess you’re everyone’s favorite Masi, I can see it.” She doesn’t wait for Kim’s response as she answers the last question. “I don’t intend to make myself feel small, I try to actively take up space. I’ve been intentionally putting energy into that. Yes, I’ll apologize to shut people down, I’m honestly protecting my peace at this point because some people in my life just won’t get it and I cannot care them because I matter.”

“That was honest. ”

“It sounded really mean. ”

“Honesty can be mean. It doesn’t take away from the truth behind it.”

“The truth does feel good.”

“And that’s the feeling you hold onto.”

“Thanks for caring about me, Hart.”

Kim exhales at the woman that was going to spend way more time in her thoughts now, it was easy to connect with her and didn’t hurt as she dreamt it to. “I’m going to get cavities from you.”

Trini chuckles as she stands up to fold back the blanket. “Does that mean you’ll actually rest? You look like you rarely give yourself time to rest. I have Zahil as a biased witness.”

Kim meets Trini where she smooths the blanket against the back of the couch. “Teaming up with the angsty teenager, how am I not surprised.”

“Grumpy and broody sounds about right.” They’re cheesing and about to continue the banter in the mud room when someone enters through the garage door. Trini stumbles at the sound and Kim’s hand shoots out as a reflex to steady her.

Trini’s balance was good, she had steadied herself which left Kim’s hand inches away from Trini’s. The instinct to hold them was new and creeped up on the half-Indian woman sooner than she had thought it would. Their hands were so close.

“Kim!” Their hands fall away from each other as the moment is broken by a man, dressed in clothes that give him a 90s dad vintage aesthetic. He had to be related to Mr. Hart, Trini felt it coming up.

“Ki--- hi.” His eyes wander, falling to Trini who must have a displeased, slightly murderous look on her face.

“Wait,...” He frowns, his hands directed to placing Trini in his mind.

Why would he know her? It seems like a ridiculous idea; Trini had never met this man in her entire life. As his smile grew with confidence, she had a feeling she knew who this was.

“Trini?”

She hums, not ready to engage in conversation until she knew who this man was.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners? I’m Henry, Mavi’s brother, Foi’s son, Kim’s cousin. I’ve heard about you a while back, it’s good to see you’re here.” Trini glances at Kim as Henry looks around, searching for something he came here for. Their proximity was making both their hearts race. Trini was looking at Kim through her long, luscious eyes lashes and Kim’s doe eyes were drinking her, god, was she gorgeous. Almost as if they could hear each other’s thoughts about each other they separated, putting distance between each other.

Without missing a beat, Trini slips her feet in her shoes and remembers to answer Henry. “I never met you before. You’re the one with the kids.”

“Yes, two girls.”

“A girl dad, I remember you, your wife was in labor around Kim’s sweet 16th.”

He points at Trini guilty at the reminder that he had missed his cousin’s sweet 16th. “ Yeah, yes, kinda why I’m here. Do you know where Mavi is?”

“Pardon?”

“Mavi, my sister, your cousin, brunette and a blonde, about 5’5”--”

“5’6”.”

“Great, so? ” He waits, leaning his head toward like a duck and Kim rolls her eyes as she puts a pin in his conversation.

“Get home safe. You don’t have anyone waiting for you out there, do you? I didn’t say hi to Mr. Ibarra last time.”

Trini teases her with a co*cky smile, “Mr. Ibarra, huh?”

Kim fondly rolls her eyes. “ Goodbye, Ibarra.”

Trini doesn’t stretch the goodbye; their banter was comedic gold. “See you around, Hart.” The door closes behind Trini and Kim watches it for a few seconds. She doesn’t realize how long it is until she looks back at Henry who looked less irritated on where Mavi is and more interested in her longing gaze directed at Trini was about.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

“How’d you make the flight?”

“They waited for me.”

“How’d they know?”

“It worked itself out. Someone took a voucher and accommodations to not fly, hats off to them, I could not.”

James nods. “Wasn’t it that same flight where someone was deboarded because they were on the no-fly list?"

“Yeah, it was also overbooked, the plane’s--”

James cuts it at the overused ‘the plane’s balance is off due to luggage’ excuse that he had heard too many times while traveling. “Is that actually true?”

“Sometimes, yes. Other times, they’re trying to save themselves from work.”

“I knew it!” The tumbling of the clothes in the dryer sounds as James gleefully celebrates the new piece of knowledge makes Kim smile.

Trini exhales as she sees Nuru’s co-worker being a chismosa. Nuru’s favorite co-worker speaks before Trini has the chance to hassle her. “5 bucks says that the couple [waiting for their clothes to dry] gets complimented by the older folks”

Trini could hear Zayn’s voice over the speakers of the laundry mat. “10 if they’re not a couple and really good friends.” As predicted, Trini doesn't hide the smile on her face at the chorus of laughs that she hears from the group of elder women as the song choice rubbed salt in Nuru’s favorite co-worker's wound.

[♫Tightrope♫]

sitting with my legs across your torso

we are who we are when we’re alone

Nuru’s co-worker's groan makes Trini chuckle as the crisp 10-dollar bill is placed in front of her and she joins Trini with folding the clothes. Trini leaves her to work as she heads back outside to finish up her doodling. It wasn’t every day where the artistic need to draw came out. Ita said she had Kim’s birthday present to give the half-Indian woman and Trini, the dutiful granddaughter she was, offered to drop it off at Kim’s house. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that yesterday was their last Sunday together or how close Kim’s hand was to touching hers. None of it was related to Trini doodling on the front of Kim’s present box.

She passes by Nuru’s other co-workers who were working the register as she makes her way over to the edge of the counter where Kim’s present laid. Her markers were on the second shelf of the countertop. Trini frowns at the missing orange Sharpie when she realizes it’s on the third shelf and bends to retrieve it.

Uncanny to its timing, James pauses his beckon to Kim as he watches his half-Indian friend notice her name on the front of a gift box. Based on her gentle, curious (and growing) smile, James would hold off on showing Kim the masterpiece that the Druck writers created for Fatou apologizing to Kieu My at the fish store. Mainly because as Kim’s curiosity grew, she squatted down to see a few of the Sharpies used to doodle on a present box that was basically a mood board for the half-Indian woman.

Standing up, both stood face-to-face with each other, leaving a thunderstruck James to gape at their timing.

are you the full moon or sun?

whatever you are, i swear to god, you are beyond comparison

It’s exactly as how Kim had described meeting Trini, the instant energy connection and how they flowed into each other’s presence.

“Trini.”

God, does Trini not to let how precious Kim said her name from her racing heartbeat. It was bound to happen with the way she was looking at her, those golden orbs held so much care in them, had they always been there?

The Latina tries keep her heart at bay for; it was there, sailing towards the half-Indian woman. It was the magnetic pull that she had felt for the very beginning, all coming back to her. It was always going to be Kim, no matter what universe Trini was in.

She had hoped that she saw Kim, thinking about all morning and here was the woman of her thoughts, the one in that PALMS shared files that the entire Ibarra family had seen. The same one that was in front of her with the same wisps of hair that framed her face and a sliver of her soft skin that showed an unbuttoned white blouse and a silver chain of Kim’s preferred name in Gujarati.

Trini innocently raises her eyebrows with confusion before she snaps out of how the vision of her thoughts were now in front of her. She collects herself smoothly, “Ita, uhm, she sent this for you. ” Trini motions towards the box. “It looked a bit plain , and [work] it’s been a bit slow so... ”

“...described our time together in emoji form.” Kim completes the sentence, seeing the candle emoji with the missing orange flame.

“...Yeah, I, uhm--”

Honey orbs roamed over the blue, purple and pink drawing theme Trini had created. “--what’s this one?”

“...you with Dolo and Rau.”

“...that does look like Elliot.”

Trini deadpans. “...that’s Raul.”

Kim blinks at her and Trini’s faux expression drops, she giggles.

Kim smiles at the delightful sound that totally didn’t make her heartbeat race with joy. She wanted to hear more of that. “I know his haircut, we talked about his barber for an hour that day, I remember that. ” Trini chuckles at Kim’s explanation before finishing up her doodle. She speaks to her while she adds her finishing touches.

“Ita has a special place in her heart for Mrs. Hart. She will always have with your family. Your mom mentioned that she wouldn’t be spending your birthday with you and Ita found this even more necessary.” It comes out more like a sad question that Trini knew the answer to, maybe she wanted to see Kim for her birthday.

Kim motions to the present, “This wasn’t necessary.”

Trini smiles in an endearing way where Kim knew there were no takebacks with Ita. “ Try telling Ita that. These are her early birthday wishes for you.”

“That’s sweet of her, can I open it now?” Trini eagerly nods her head, and Kim carefully rips the tape on the bottom of the box to preserve Trini’s drawings on the top. She watches the half-Indian woman gently unravel the Vestida y Alborotada vegan leather floral heels. Her eyes light up at the color and it’s when she admits it that Trini melts at Ita’s thoughtfulness.

“These are the exact color. Ba bought this spectacular versatile suit...” Kim inspects the shoe, marveling at the color and pattern while studying the handiwork of it all. “...it’s able to mix and match with different options, there was an option that Ba was particularly interested in, and I couldn’t find shoes to wear with it...until now.” She glances in the box and sees the bracelets of protection that she had known Ita had blessed them and a waist chain. Ba had been more encouraging of Kim’s body image lately, this felt like on track.

“Ita chose well.”

“She chose right too.”

“I’m sure I’ll convey my thanks to her, however, when you do see her, can you ...” Trini nods with a warm smile that pulled Kim’s heartstrings to not comment on their matching outfit choice. Kim’s beige tennis skirt and white button blouse complimented Trini’s beige Stella McCartney Eva Silk Crepe De Chine blouse and Favorite Cargo joggers. Except Trini couldn’t see all of that as her long beige Camelia from Soia & Kyo winter coat. Her knee-high boots were visible and what Kim noticed as she saw James now standing next to her.

Glancing up, Trini waved at James as the Italian man congratulated Trini for being able to surprise her father with a new truck. They talked about Mez and James shared photos of Harlow at Trini’s request and Kim stares at her, smiling at how bright her eyes shine and how sweet her laugh sounded. Oblivious to how deep in admiration of the Latina Kim was, her gaze floats the person behind Trini that was now staring at Kim. It was one of the elder ladies that was talking about Kim’s gaze being platonic towards James.

Kim’s smile slowly drops as the elder woman’s knowing gaze stays gentle and supportive. It’s the eye contact after that sends Kim as she subtly shakes her head when it comes to James and nods when it comes to Trini. Kim, obviously, doesn’t deny or confirm any of this. Who the hell was this woman in her business? She was there to dry her clothes and leave, which is why when James looked up into the conversation Kim eagerly smiled and James got the clue to leave as the conversation with Trini.

That doesn’t stop the elder woman’s friend from Kim leaving as she comments as soon as James offers his hand for Kim to weave through.

“You two are gorgeous together, my God. ”

James chuckles and Trini looks at Kim for her reaction but Kim’s staring at Trini who smiles at her being caught.

“Thank you, that’s so kind of you.”

“Jean, are these the young people you were talking about? My God , they would have fantastic children together.”

James makes a pained smile face at the comment and Kim presses her lips together at his reaction. He speaks closely to Kim’s ears in Italian. “She didn’t see you and yours truly set fireworks off just now?” James was always a huge fan of a delicious slow burn.

Kim grins in that attractive way that makes Trini’s head swim. She replies lowly that Trini could hear. “If she understands you, then we’ll both be in trouble.”

“ Game on , I’m in for the long haul.”

Kim’s mischievous glint shimmers as she glances at the elderly woman turning back to them. James goes to hold Kim’s hands in a ‘don’t even think about egging them on’ way and Kim turns on the charm simply by smiling at him with a stare that showed her almost dimples. Her golden orbs sparkling gets to James who blushes, grinning as he looks away. He was getting flustered; Trini and Kim could see that. He breaks their gaze and Kim laughs in her hand as the two elderly woman gush over the two friends.

James clears his throat, his face, a pastel pink, he was addressing all of them. “We can't be late; my mother-in-law is expecting us.” He gently brushes back a piece of Kim’s hair as he zips up her jacket, so she doesn’t get cold.

He was never beating the ‘not-a-couple’ allegations with how Kim grinned at him.

Trini smiles at James’ slightly widened eyes at the realization of the other eyes on him. He cared for Kim by instinct, not for show.

The elderly women were floored at how attentive he was to his girlfriend. “Oh my, well, it was nice to meet you two. Gorgeous, simply, gorgeous.”

James’ phone goes off and he doesn’t even look at it, taking hold of Kim’s hand as she takes the offered wrapped box from Trini. Golden orbs slightly nod as a goodbye to Trini, and she smiles with the same slight nod. He addresses the elderly women, “Thank you, have a lovely day.”

Kim can feel Trini’s eyes on her as she walks away. When Kim turns around and Trini’s smile widens as she holds up a hand to say ‘bye’, Trini grins and watches as James suavely makes his way onto the main road of Avalon Blvd.

She’s in her own world, cheesing that Kim turned back to look at her. She turns around and her smile drops as the elderly women had a knowing look on her face. Gracias, Diosito that her makeup shift for Nuru was ending soon.

________________________________________________________________________

Ilhan studies his best friend’s profile as he meets her in the middle, her stubbornness would block any truth to her feelings. “Let’s compromise, alright? You’re stepping into this new era of your life, mA. It happens to be the same time as Arjun and moonstone magic is there.”

Anya frowns as they walk down the corridor that led to the patients of craniofacial surgery. “You say it like you have an extensive knowledge on moonstones.”

“Moonstone is used to lead you to a true version of yourself. More intuitive and transformation.” Anya slows her pace as Ilhan becomes her own personal version of Google. “It connects you to your divine feminine energy which explains why you’re confused everyone keeps on complimenting your glow. You shine differently when you step into a better version of yourself.”

Anya faces her best friend. “How do you know so much about moonstones?”

“Broody and handsome. I was looking for a birthday present for her and stumbled upon a crystal shop that had several workshops dedicated to educating people on the benefits and challenging the ‘they’re just stones’ mentality. T made a good choice with selenite on her walls, the energy shift is palpable. That’s a real friend that’ll protect her loved ones.”

Anya’s slack jawed expression was a result of how caught off-guard she was at Ilhan’s crystal knowledge, “You...”

Ilhan smiles at Anya lost for words. “I pay attention to your loved ones.”

She takes a hold of Ilhan’s elbow as they walk towards the elevator up to the floor they were going towards. “I am stepping into this new version, and wearing the moonstone could attribute to that. Arjun doesn’t.”

“You were going to grow regardless. A man doesn’t have anything to do with that.”

“You haven’t joined the Arjun fan club.”

Ilhan smiles and shakes his head. It was a quiet admission, something that Anya knew what he was saying without him saying it.

“We’ve talked about marriage a lot and one of the deciding factors for me was ‘Shall We Dance’...” He looks at Anya like he was watching something life-changing and marvelous for the first time ever happen in her life. “...I know you believe it to be more than the wedding and a milestone. You deserve to have someone witness your every day's, someone to travel with, someone that will stand by you through it and with them, mundane things like making breakfast feels content with them.” Anya doesn’t know if she was getting tear-eyed or if it was Ilhan, what were they thinking having such a deep conversation as they were walking to share happiness? Anya was about to start balling [with tears]. “You are worth that happy tale and good things will be showered upon you, the highest blessings will fall upon you as you touch the stars in every new step you take.”

Leave it up to Ilhan to fill her with hope on a random Tuesday afternoon.

Now, they’re just staring at each other. Ilhan, about to reach out and comfort Anya and Anya on the verge of tears or complaints, it depended on the breath she took. As their nurse friend approaches and informs them of where they could start with meeting the patients their company had donated to, Ilhan gives the choice of where to start to Anya.

The nurse friend smiles suggesting that she knew where Anya would start and Anya, quietly processing what Ilhan had said, gives a small smile and leaves it up to her. Ilhan who wanted to gauge if she was okay, resorts to asking another question that he knew would produce one of two reactions.

1. She'd grill him with a death glare with an intensity of a thousand suns

1. She’d send him in the other directions with hands clasped in prayers as her last nerve would be worked if she interacted with him.

He tilts his shoulder as his hands were clasped behind his back, like the immigrant dad Arjun would call him, and asks the question to which he could see Anya immediately calculating how to get rid of him as her hands go up and she points them in the opposite direction as the male nurse goes with Ilhan in the opposite direction. He walks away and turns around to see her glare at him as she walks down the hallway with the nurse friend, grinning at their interaction.

pari of my hart 🌠 (shooting star) [Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021]

[2:17pm] their flight just got in, bub and i went for them.

they're home asleep, jet lag beyond belief

and very grateful to see us.

it had a huge impact on them, you can tell.

we have food, a warm shower and a cozy bed with

your name on it, joonam, see you soon!

Alysiah smiles at the text message she receives on her WINGS bracelet. She was about to clock out for the day soon and knowing that she could be on auto-pilot mode and didn’t have to think about the rest of the day was exactly what she needed and coincidentally what the doctor ordered.

joonam benim

[2:45pm] counting the seconds, habibti

She pockets her phones and turns the corner to check on a patient that seems a bit sadder than usual when she hears his laugh. Someone’s whispering sweet nothings in Telugu to him, and those mocha eyes immediately soften hearing the Marathi woman’s laugh.

“Hi, my lovely baby, what upset you?” Anya’s pitch and tone made all the difference in the world to the baby boy who was now all gummy smiles instead of frowns for days.

He coos again and she continues the conversation. “Oh no, and what did they do?”

He coos in response with a complaint in tow. Anya giggles as this coo had more body to it, he was listing things for her as he stopped and went. “Acha chu, they did all of that?” Alysiah smiles at how the baby responded, he knew what she was saying. She was attending to his needs and giving him the attention he needed all morning.

He coos in agreement and Anya holds his hands. “They cannot do that to my baby, I’ll speak to them, no more, okay, my handsome?” Ravin’s gummy smile knew he was being complimented, Alysiah grins at how well his day had turned around.

He coos, thankful that someone was here to save the day. He was fed up at being woken up ungodly hours of the morning. God, he was literally just a baby. “You want me to stay or go? I know you must be tired, look at how bright these lights are. How can you sleep with all of that?”

His smile drops as she nods. He grins at her as she’s able to reduce the harsh lighting and he glances up to where he felt another pair of eyes and Alysiah stays frozen in her spot from where she watched the two of them. It was a one-way glass. They couldn’t see here and she, sure as hell, could see them. “My baby boy?” She calls for him, his gaze returns to her as they had both wondered if someone was on the opposite side of the glass. “You rest easy now, I’ll check on you tomorrow, okay?” He kicks his feet in response and Anya thumbs his hands before blowing a kiss and exiting the room to find no one behind the one-way glass.

That was so weird, she felt someone’s presence there. She could smell notes of their perfume too, Arabian perfume with a strong scent.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Castle or villa shouldn’t be this big of a question for Kim, alas, it was. The half-Indian woman knew that saving a castle for Sweety and Kuhu’s child wasn’t practical. She huffs out a breath as she lets go of the castle and browses her villa in Copenhagen. Places that looked sh*tty outside and where an oasis inside were Kim’s favorite types of places. Her place in Emdrup wasn’t anything anyone would expect with how close it was to daycare centers, school and speed bumps on almost every road. However, it was exactly what Kim needed to stay low. After checking for no water damage (like her last property in Filip), she checks that the windows were closed before moving onto Ba and Bappu’s property.

So, she does exactly that and inspects all of the corners. She was moving onto the lounge area when she noticed it, the sand piece wasn’t there. An artist had created for the Hart family in 2016. Kim zeroes in on the wall she knew it was supposed to be on and she could see the compound and how freshly sanded it was as the dust of it was on the ground right below it.

Panic begins to rise and unable to access her WINGS, Kim stands up to release the tension. She jumps, paces and shakes out her limbs. She needed some air, a change of scenery would do her well. It was a good thing she made her hours on her own timeline because today, she definitely needed it. Her phone’s map shows nearly 20 of her loved ones in one location. Intrigue strikes her and she doesn’t even look at the address, she programs the car to take her there.

The song that played through the Telluride, the grief that ran through Kim elicited tears as they streamed down her face. She swipes at her tears, wanting to scream at the truth she felt crawling up her throat. She knew what happened to the painting. It didn’t make it any less painful. God, that was the whole point of it. They didn’t ask her; this needed all their permission.

She takes the car off autopilot as she’s 10 minutes away from home and she sees the text from Jai that says, ‘Come home, let’s figure this out together’.

It doesn’t process that Jai was there. It doesn’t process that Meems, Khurshid, Alysiah, Holland, Bariqa, Zack, Billy, Nick, Foi, Mavi, Fua, Ba, Bappu, Oishi, Ghurran, Appa, Amma, Nayani and Aisha were there either. Not until she parks and walks up the driveway of Oishi and Nayani’s home does she see everyone gathered there, waiting for her. It’s a dead giveaway of what happened and still, it didn’t stop the hurt that she felt.

Appa is right there by the headlights of the Telluride, and he guides her inside as Bariqa and Mavi follow. Kim’s tear-stained face was a sad sight for all of them to see. They all saw her look at her Ba.

And as she found Ba by herself looking at the sky, a same version of those golden orbs turned to look at her too. Instantly melting and cupping her face as they both had tears in their eyes, one was from letting it go and one was from knowing it was gone.

Kim knew it, she knew that it was gone. A goodbye by itself. It was inevitably going to happen. Seeing her mother staring at her with eyes full of tears that she knew she was reflecting too made the moment even more realistic.

Kim approaches her and the apology comes followed by the explanation. And Kim can’t fault Maddison for her actions because she could go through that.

They both glanced at each other, tears streaming down their faces. Maddison was relieved and Kim knew she’d feel it sooner than later, but the guilt was there. Maddison coos at Kim’s wobbly chin as another wave of tears hit her and she pulls her in a hug that Kim accepts. Rubbing her back and reassuring her that she could feel all her emotions, Kim felt safe in her mom’s arms. She felt understood and seen and like the gift Maddison had adored as motivation to push through medical school with.

Kim’s so focused on tuning into her feelings that she doesn’t hear the knock on the door or Jai approaching them with Meems and Bappu in the doorway. As both Hart women turn to see Jai, he smiles at them the same time a single tear runs down his cheek. Maddison and Kim sport a similar sad smile.

He sweeps towards them and enters the hug he desperately needed. They had both felt the cling of his hug.

Kim holds him close to her as Maddison wiggles out of the hug. He softly weeps against Kim and where she is supporting his body against his green ‘24’ tattoo and that makes the memory even sadder as she wakes up from a dream about Jai’s hug the next morning.

Golden orbs stir and nudge her pillow with her hair as she stretches her limbs and feels the need to pee rush to her. She frowns at the momentary loss of softness as her WINGS navigate her through the bathroom in the dimly lit bedroom. She exits the bathroom, immediately noticing that this wasn’t her room. She was at Oishi and Nayani’s. Just as her mind begins to wander, she’s absentmindedly padding back to the bedroom.

Her gaze meets movement on the bed where the sun was finally starting to rise. Her moon freshly awoken with a bedhead and smile for days. The half-Indian woman races back to bed and all but clambers into her sister’s arms as they both glance back to the right side of the bed where Alysiah was now sleeping on Kim’s pillow. Lys snuggles deeper into the pillow, breathing in the scent and relaxing and Kim’s body shakes with laughter at how much of a lovergirl her childhood best friend was. Kim adjusts the pillow from Aisha’s lap to the headboard where Aisha was bracing against. Their gaze starts at Yemaya who was in a single bed by the bedside of where Aisha slept before traveling around the room. It was filled with so many simple details that made the room feel so cozy. Aisha taps Kim to draw more detail on a few things and Kim does the same as their gaze travels to the couch where Kim’s jacket that she wore last night was.

Umber eyes stare at golden orbs who tried to recall what had really happened last night. Aisha signs to her the same time as the question was on both of their minds.

“It’s coming back to you?” Kim glances at Aisha.

“Bits and pieces.”

“We can talk about it, if you want.” Aisha smiles. “Not exactly the best conversation for the morning, however, for you, anything.”

Kim smiles. “I’d like to.”

“You came in and Appa was waiting for you.”

Kim nods and points towards the direction her WINGS told her the driveway was. “He was waiting for me in the driveway with Bappu.”

“You remember Bappu being there?”

“He was in the background, I didn’t even think I saw him, I heard him sigh.”

“When you came in?” Kim nods and sighs to herself at the details she was now remembering. “When you came in, everyone was there. Ols, Lys, Riqz, Meems, Âbji , Zack, Billy, Nick,”

Kim stops her, “They were there?”

Aisha nods, “Zack, Billy and Nick were.” Aisha could hear the thoughts in her sister’s head about Zack, she knew the older Hart woman wanted to make amends there.

Kim surprises her, “What’d you tell me that night before you left?”

Aisha blinks at her, her morning voice raspy from sleep and emotion. “I’d miss you more than the stars in the Milky Way galaxy. You changed my entire life, and it feels like I’ve known you my entire life.” Her eyes well up with tears.

Her hand reaches out to hold Kim’s head, “And I always have. You knew that all along.” She presses their foreheads together and Kim’s hand reaches up to wipe the tears that streamed down her face.

Kim speaks for the first time this morning, “I will always be a sister’s girl in every lifetime, every multi universe, every version of us.” She pulls back to look at the teary-eyed Aisha. “You were that missing piece I needed in London. How could I not have seen that without you there? You were the home feeling I missed.” Kim smiles at her sibling. “Even when I’m speechless, our magic is indelible.” She lets out a tear-filled chuckled breath at all the references to the park date and how her DNA unlocked the care bag Kim prepared for her sibling that she knew would find her way to her every single time.

“...which is why I’m moving to Scotland, it’s ‘in case’ house, I know. This is where I want to be. I want to surround myself with all of you and live for myself too.”

“I’m so happy that you’re alive. You’re going to be so happy in Scotland. A home away from home. You’re in the center of all of us, we’ll always gravitate back to you, no matter what.” Kim melts at her words and Aisha wraps her in a hug.

It was true, she was in the center. Hour later, the thought of it reminded her of the woman she was currently sitting next to as they waited for their joint therapy session to start. Ba and Kim were jarred by how comfortable they both felt. Even the therapist picked up on the vibes and location change.

“We’re not in Aisha’s study room.”

Ba and Kim look at each other through the laptop screen, Kim shakes her head. Ba admits, “We are not, it’s a bit overdue. That bridge has served us well. However, I think we can try managing on our own.” Ba looks at Kim for confirmation and she nods.

“Aisha was our commonality, the bridge we crossed to how the other side was before always returning to our own side. We burned ours a while back, not considering how much of that bridge was really Aisha, Ba and mine. The bridge that exists Ba and I is being consciously and intentionally built.”

“Wonderfully said, Kim. Intention is important when making decisions especially with relationships.” And Kim knows Dr. Jackson meant it between Ba and Kim, however, her mind momentarily thinks about Trini and her before tuning back to what Dr. Jackson was asking both of them.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

“My little helper, look at you go!”

“When will [I see] you? I miss you.”

“After nap time, baby. I’ll see you then. Okay? Rest and I promise I’ll be the person that wakes you up.”

“Then we’ll go to Khala’s?”

“Of course, I want to see the restaurant with you.”

“Wait for me, okay? Us.”

“You got it, Ky.”

“See you, love you.” Kim’s ‘love you’ is heard on speaker as Ky runs to give the phone to his dad. “Here, Baba.”

Kim chuckles. “Hey there, fairygirl.”

“Hello, handsome.” Zia chuckles. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, Ky’s pretty much running laps around us, proving that jetlag doesn’t exist for him.”

“He must travel in his sleep; San Diego seems like somewhere he’s been.”

“You think so, right? He could show me around instead.”

“He must have already concluded that Harbor Drive Bridge is another version of High Line [in Chelsea, New York].”

“A pedestrian bridge.”

“How’s opening day business looking so far?”

“All of the influencers. I’ve had so many cameras shoved in my face only to be met with disappointment.”

“Consent would be nice, next time.”

“I try to not let it get to me because it’s business and--”

“--still not a justification to asking someone if they want to be on film.”

“I do it for the business.”

“ Ah, so eye candy.”

“Sejjal removes my evil eye.”

“I’m glad she does. ” Zia smiles. “How does it feel being there with all of them? It’s a new environment to get adjusted to even if it’s for a few weeks.”

“I prefer being in New York, I miss the unity. Cali people are in a world of their own. Funny enough, I get many New Yorkers here. I got free merch the other day, I sent one out to Lys to wear.”

“The gray zip-up hoodie? I’ve already stolen that.”

“It’s a good thing I sent her two. ”

Kim laughs. “She went to the children’s hospital with it the other day.”

“She treats people too?”

“Many times. Depends on where they need her and where she feels best at. Children’s hospital is some of her favorite places to be, their laughter cures what only a heart can hear.”

Zia hummed at the subtle poetry Kim was speaking. “What else can they cure?”

“Tiredness for people who don’t know how to get off the phone and nap.”

Zia belly laughs, accepting defeat.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scrapping of Aisha’s blade against the ice is heard as she halts finishing another ‘8’ figure on ice. The last few minutes of her night coming to an end with skating, it was well spent. The Punjabi woman had been skating for the past 2 hours as she now confirmed, checking her watch. She checks on Yemaya through the cameras on her watch and sees that Ji-Hoon was about to leave. He was typing a message to send her as she was typing out a message to him.

She moves to dismount herself and take off her skates when--

“What are you doing?”

“Whaaa”

The sudden appearance throws them both off balance as they both crash to the ground. Aisha’s still in shock as Amara appears hovering over here.

She lifts her up to a seated position before Aisha takes off her shoes and glances at her concerned wife through her football helmet. Aisha dumbfoundedly smiles at her face and Amara’s concern is replaced with a cautious and hopeful smile as she juts her head towards inside. Aisha gets the hint and they both pad inside. Aisha immediately taking off her skates and Amara bringing in her suitcase and taking off her coat and boots.

Amara turns just in time to see her wife take off her helmet and it’s the same exact time Ji-Hoon descends from the stairs. It gives Amara ample time to swoon and stare at Aisha smiles at her bodyguard for staying before he slips out and Aisha arms the house. Aisha wasn’t any different, staring at Amara through the glass window door as she now met her warm gaze.

Aisha blinks at her like she was seeing her wife for the first time, “Hi.”

Amara says it like a promise, “Hi.”

“You’re not jetlagged, you look well-rested.” It was an observation, Aisha knew it was true. There was a spark in those eyes and her energy was replenished. She looked damn good, and her skin was glowing.

“I’ve been back home for two weeks now.” She admits with a hint of something hopeful that Aisha’s heart jumps at.

“The jet lag has officially left you.”

“I was tying up loose ends at work since I’ll be working closely with an agent at my wife’s workplace.” ‘My wife’ shouldn’t make Aisha giddy after hearing it and it does as the smile blooms on the Punjabi woman’s face.

“That’s what you’ve decided? ” Aisha asks to hear more about her wife’s thought process and if she was sure.

She steps a bit closer to Aisha, relishing in the effect she had on the Punjabi woman with the immediate hitch in her breath. “I want our happy ending.”

“I do too...” Aisha feels her tummy grumble. Amara snickers at the timing and how Aisha’s hands immediately shot out to reassure that she wanted to keep on talking. They were holding hands after being apart for a month, something both of them took joy in. “Not to cut this short, I’ve been out there for a bit. I’m going to shower, eat and I’ll meet you before you go to bed?”

Amara gives her a soft smile. “I’ll be there.” Aisha lightly squeezes Amara’s hands before Amara leads the way towards their respective bedrooms. She turns on her heel and makes it halfway down the hallway before Aisha’s concerned tone reaches her.

“Wait, why does that---, does that hurt?” Aisha spins her and Amara sees her on her knees, examining something around Amara’s waist with a concerned brow before she sees what it really was and the change was palpable. Amara watches Aisha swallow thickly, her hands still on her waist sending bolts of electricity.

Amara wasn’t hurt.

She was, however, wearing black waist chain (that looked concerning for Aisha under the lighting for signs of injury) with Aisha’s name in gold-filled clover charms.

The thought that Amara had goes right to Aisha’s core as she looks up meeting her eyes through her lashes. There was no better explanation for what they both wanted to take place with each other in the right position.

Aisha rises, her hands still on Amara’s waist as she didn’t want to break the contact. Amara could swore she was going to lean in or was it her? God, it was getting warm in here.

The Punjabi woman lets out a small giggle and Amara smiles at the sound. “Yemaya’s waking up, I think she’s going to want to see you.”

Amara smirks. “What gave you that idea, the ice rink outside?”

“My wife finds a peace of mind with ice skating. You sound like you’re sh*t talking.”

“Nah, I know a simp when I see one.”

Aisha devilishly smirks advancing towards Amara with the earlier intent they had. Amara walks away, chuckling at Aisha’s attempt. Aisha watches her go up the stairs to see their daughter as she turns on her heel to head to shower.

After Amara’s clothes have been packed away, she returns to Aisha’s room where the Punjabi woman was close to being done with how she was humming. Amara grins at the tune while sitting on Aisha’s bed before the woman of her thought exits the bathroom to halt right in front of her.

“Hi.”

Aisha dries off her hair and spreads the towel out on stand to dry before sitting next to her wife. “Hello, bebeğim.”

Amara hums lowly. “Hm, say it again. ”

Aisha smiles so pleasantly at the request before tangling their legs together as she scoots closer and leans towards Amara’s left ear. Soft and low, she murmurs it. “Welcome home, bebeğim.”

“We don’t say hi like that.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“With pleasure.” Amara leans in, brushing noses before Aisha shoots back.

Amara’s eyes shot open with concern, standing at once.

“Someone’s here.” Aisha tilts her head the same way Ateş does as he walks in. They both look at the black cat before the married couple immediately join hands and walk towards the back doors where Aisha unlocks the door to find her sister walking up the stairs.

“Baldız, Bub, Ateş, hi. I’m sorry for no notice.”

Aisha’s offering Kim a hand in as the couple uses their free hand to lock the door. “Di, come on in. Have you eaten? You’re not here for what I think you are.”

“Yes and no. I have a few questions, I couldn’t sleep without asking, if that’s okay with you.” Amara frowns at Kim.

“What’s keeping you up?” Amara takes Kim in tow as they walk down the hallway, leaving Ateş and Aisha to stare at each other.

“You ate already?” Ateş nods at her and he looks at her in question. “I didn’t, let’s go. I’ll tuck you in tonight, okay?” That seems to motivate Ateş to walk with a bit more pep in his step as they join the two women.

“I’m surprised you’re not surprised.”

“What? That you’re into Reiki now? I knew you’d ask on your own timeline. Honestly, I had a feeling you would when you never moved my crystals.”

“Crystals are different than reiki.”

“They are and you kept an open mind and trusted the process.”

“Yeah, it’s you, you don’t have malice in your heart.”

“Baldız, it’s the crystals.”

“I think it’s the person too. Anyone can give you anything, intention’s important.”

“Intention is.” Amara stands corrected. “Okay, so I get the reasoning behind reiki. However, I think you made the right call with the somatic therapy appointment. You need that deep cleanse. Reiki can get you there, I think you need it to be felt on a much larger scale.”

“Bub?” Aisha hums where her and Ateş were sitting at the kitchen table. “Nothing.”

Aisha chews her food before speaking. “You were going to ask how my somatic therapy appointment went when I dealt with losing Theo.”

“I thought it.”

“I heard it.”

“You don’t have to---”

“---answer would be yes to somatic breathwork.” Kim goes quiet. “ The larger scale, yes. What happened was larger than life and changed the trajectory of your life. It had a lasting impact and it’s okay to want to feel that through your body and have it exit your body. You’re allowed to feel all of that grief, sorrow, mourning, loss and utter pain in the capacity that somatic release therapy allows for. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Does it push you to your limit? Yes. How will you feel after? Only you can know that if you try.”

Aisha smiles. “You already know that though. Trinidad and Tobago have many somatic release therapy spots that are community-based. You have the answers, you have our support. If you need the verbal answer, I’ll give it to you. Yes, Di, choose yourself in everything you do. Selfishly and honestly.”

Aisha gets up and soak her plate while maintaining eye contact with her sister and wife, “If it’s something new for you, which I think it is because I’ve never heard you talk about it, every step of the way as long as we can, we’ll walk besides you.”

Amara places a comforting hand on Kim’s arm, drawing the half-Indian woman’s attention to her. “We’re going for you. The good, bad and everything that makes you YOU. Getting that news was taxing and heavy on you. We all saw it. If this is something you want to do, you need the support, accountability, company, togetherness, we’re there, we got you. You want us to wait outside? We’ll wait in the car. You want us to wait in the room? We’ll take a class.”

Kim looks between Aisha, Amara and even Ateş which makes all three of them grin. “I’ll book the appointment for next week Thursday.” Aisha was right, she did look into it. Kim looks at Amara, giving a light squeeze to her hand. “Thank you.” She looks to her sibling who was swallowing the last bite of her food with a satiated smile on her face. “...both.”

“You choose everyone all the time, it’s time you choose yourself.”

Amara watches the half-Indian woman kiss the crown of her wife’s head before heading out. Amara cleans up and washes the last bowl as Aisha holds her hand out for them to go to sleep after a long day. The perfect way to be welcomed home.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I’m not above swinging right now.”

“In God’s house?”

“He knows where my heart lies.”

“And where your anger does too.”

Sofía makes a plan with Anya, “You get her right, I’ll get her left.”

Trini says inspecting the crowd in the church, “We’re not repeating Solvang.”

Isa directs her energy back at the lady shooting rude looks at 4-year-old seated in the row behind all 4 girls. “Who invited her here? Where’s Mami when you need her?” Isa frowns at their mami helping behind the scenes with the church staff.

Nicole sadly admits, “It’s her nephew.”

Anya raises an unamused eyebrow, “It’s about his late aunt if she looks at that baby one more time. People are so ugly for no reason. That boy didn’t do nothing to her.”

Trini hones in on the two individuals towards the back rows of the church. They never sat down. “Is, he came in with those two bodyguards in the back, or am I losing it?"

Nicole chimes in. “No, I saw that too.”

Anya watches Trini’s mind calculate something. It’s the same thing Father Lee looks at Trini to say something but the Latina is up and out of her seat, approaching the 4-year-old. Father Lee watches the scene as Trini stoops before him introducing herself.

“Hi.” He waves at her. “Are you here with someone?”

“No, I know Danny.”

“You’re here for Danny’s baptism? That’s cool, such a good friend you are.” The 4-year-old grins, his smile was gentle.

Trini sees him reach to get his snacks. “Who got you the snacks?”

He answers, trying to open the tab of the snack bag. “Khala.”

Trini grins, he spoke another language. “Your aunt did? No way, which ones do you have? I can show you the ones I got too.”

He beams at Trini’s Urdu. “Panda’s.” He holds up his Meiji’s Hello Panda chocolate snack bag.

“I got...” Trini pulls out a clear snack bag and the boy replies with an excited tone that melts the heart of Sof, Nicole, Isa, Anya and Father Lee who were watching the interaction.

His green eyes brighten. “Bubbaloo!”

Trini notes that he probably spoke more than one language. “Si, te gusta?”

He recognizes the other set of candy Trini had. “Y Canel’s, can I have one,” He pleads like Trini wasn’t going to over him any. “...please?”

Trini changes languages with him too. “Is there someone here I can ask permission for you to have them?” The 4-year-old takes them and holds them up and the bodyguard murmurs something before nodding. All 5 women and Father Lee note that the bodyguards were with the 4-year-old as he digs into the new snacks.

“You like these?”

“Yeah, my dad, sometimes get me these.”

“What’s his name?”

“Baba.” Trini smiles.

“What’s your name?”

“Kyros.”

Trini repeats it before introducing herself. “Kyros, my name’s Trini.”

“Trini.”

“Yeah, you see those girls behind me?” Kyros looks at the 4 pairs of eyes on them. His smile morphs into curiosity. He nods when he looks back at Trini. “Those are my sisters, would you want to sit with us for the service?” Kyros nods and Trini extends a finger to him for him to hold before Father Lee calls on the pair moving seats.

“Trini, please allow the youngster behind you to the front. I’d like to speak with him for a bit.”

The violists converse and play a few chords as they try to settle on a song. Trini nods, complying with the request and standing to watch over Kyros walk to the front as she stands towards the empty row they had just come from. Trini hears Anya’s grumble of ‘on god, I'm being tested’ before the lady they were all irritated by speaks. “Father, you read my mind.”

Father Lee pays no mind to her as he addresses Kyros. “You’re a friend of Danny’s?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Would you like to sit up front to see the ceremony?” Kyros nods, feeling the eyes of someone mean on him. “Have you been to a baptism before?” Kyros shakes his head, his hand rubs at a nervous hair on his head. “I’m happy this is your first.” Kyros smiles, cautious and all 5 women get protective over the 4-year-old that seemed like he wanted to shrink. Father Lee’s about to call on all 5 women to sit with Kyros when the mean lady speaks.

“Father, did you ask? Where is this young boy’s guardian? He can barely open the bag by himself.”

“Ms. Samuel, the ceremony will begin shortly, please tend to your relatives in attendance today.” The church staff setting up the arrangements for the baptism look at each other in passing as they work to make sure everything is ready. The baptism would start in the next 5 minutes.

Smiles around the entire Holy Faith Episcopal break out. The violinist finds the rhythm they were looking for as they seem to be confirming a common song with each other. Father Lee didn’t need to look at all 5 women on his left to know they were beaming ear-to-ear. Timing was everything and that’s why as soon as Father Lee looked at Trini, the voice they heard grabbed the attention of everyone in the church.

[♫Luminary♫]

“Kyros?”

[0:00 – 0:06] Her heels sound on the tile floor as she advances in like the goddess of the hour. Dressed in full corporate glam, light nude trousers with a dusty rose ribbed knit long sleeved top paired with a light nude overcoat and silver jewelry as usual, she advances towards Kyros.

[0:06 – 0:13] She breezes past everyone, her golden orbs focused on the 4-year-old child who looked so calm and safe now that she was here. His green eyes were shining with joy as his smile was the farthest thing away from shyness.

Kim had said his name like it was precious, her concern was there.

[0:13 – 0:19] She bends to his level and immediately smooths his hair. She rubs her thumb on his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, you’re here.” He steps closer to her and Kim smiles. She glances at his unopened bag of snacks before realizing they were the center of attention at the church. Standing up, Kyros takes a hold on Kim’s finger that was extending out to Kyros. He stands closer enough to Kim he might as well have hidden in her coat. “Father Lee.”

[0:20 – 0:26] “Kimberly, it’s very good to see you.”

“Likewise.”

He smiles like he’s known the 24-year-old all her life. “Your father mentioned your birthday was coming up, many happy returns of the day.”

[0:26 – 0:38] Kim doesn’t look taken back as her surprise is noted in her words. “Thank you, I didn’t know you still talked [to each other].”

“We all need a bit guidance.” Kim smiles. “I take it, this wonderful young boy...” Kim doesn’t hear what Father Lee as her ears her the snide comment from a woman in the audience.

“...terrible parents. They don’t know protocol, it’s completely rude to eat in church, just look at her prancing in.” Father Lee must notice that Kim heard the side comment as Kyros hands her his Panda snack.

[0:38 – 0:53] Without a single word, she tears the bag with her mouth and offers it to Kyros. “Father, correct me if I’m wrong, no one should starve in the house of God, in the same way they should never thirst.”

[0:53 – 1:06] Father Lee blinks to hide his smile. He fails. “Correct, Kimberly, John 6:35.”

That shuts the mean lady right up. Kim doesn’t need to turn around to see that. “Thank you, we will be seated now.”

“It was lovely to see...” Father Lee glances at side doors opening, the staff would be done anytime now. “...you.” He goes to dismiss them to check with the staff that everything was ready as Kimberly’s reaction to who walked in gets to him.

[1:09 – 1:19] Golden orbs observe the woman walking towards them, fixing something and when she looks up and meets Kim’s gaze, she stops too. Her dazzling smile and redirection towards Kim peaks Father Lee’s interest as he slowly moves towards the back, subtlety looking at the interaction and attending to his duties.

[1:19 – 1:26] “Kimberly.” Nilda smiles like it was best thing since sliced bread and Kim might just agree with her. God, Trini was the splitting image of her mother.

[1:26 – 1:32] Unknowing to Kim, Kyros looks between the woman in front of Kim and back to Trini. Sofía, Nicole, Anya and Isa notice this as they look back at Trini whose eyes were glued to Kim now bending to touch Mami’s feet out of respect. Mami touches the top of Kim’s head, granting her that respect before she brings her into a hug.

[1:32 – 1:46] Kim towers over Mami even with heels on. The half-Indian woman hugs Nilda back which throws them all off at what to expect next.

“This is Trini’s mom?”

Kim laughs, breaking the hug and looking at the 4-year-old who was eating his Panda cookies with one hand as he refused to let go of Kim’s hand. “Yes, Ky. This is Trini’s mom.”

“They look alike.”

“They do.” Kim smiles at Nilda and gosh, the genes were remarkable. Was this what Trini saw when she looked at Maddison now? “It was lovely to meet you, honestly.”

[2:00 – 2:13] “I kept on telling the girls that I’d meet you when the time is right. Our paths had never crossed before this, and I met your mother a few months ago. I’m happy that I got to meet you today.”

[2:13 – 2:33] “You’re Trini’s mom, how could I not meet you? You raised an incredible woman who’s going to do amazing things. You must be so proud of her especially with Fan Fest around the corner.” Nilda honestly melts on the spot at the honesty in Kim’s voice. She loses her voice with the emotion she felt in her throat and Father Lee interrupts at that same moment.

[2:34 – 2:41] Nilda says goodbye to Kim and Kyros while Father Lee directs Kim and Kyros to the row that Kyros was sitting at before. Kim’s amused eyebrow as to where that was must signal that, Father Lee calls on Trini and Kim’s head shoots in the direction Father Lee looked towards.

Trini was here.

[2:42 – 2:54] Her wavy hair, encouraging smile and proud eyes have Kim’s feet moving on their own accord towards her. Kim doesn’t even realize that she’s sat down next to Trini with Kyros patting her leg. He was going to have to use his words to ask to be in her lap. Kim plays it off like she wasn’t staring at Trini.

“Is this alright?” Kim asks while Trini looks taken back at Kim being here herself.

“This is more than alright.” Kim exhales a soft, airy chuckle.

“Are you alright?” Kim looks at Trini. “If looks could [kill], second row would be gone.”

Kim speaks lowly as the ceremony starts. “I’m not too worried about her.” Another thought, Kim voices it. “Why? Does she bother you?”

Trini’s surprise was shown on Anya’s face, Trini could bet her entire life savings on it. She saw her head turn with surprise. f*cking eaves dropper. “Father Lee will say something before I do.”

“I can believe that.”

Kyros taps on Kim’s arms, pulling their attention towards the 4-year-old. “Can I sit here? I can’t hear.” Kim silently chuckles before she adjusts her jacket as he climbs into her lap. “I’m done.”

“Oh, uhm--”

“--Here.” Kim and Kyros look up to Isa’s outstretched hand with a baby wipes.

“Thank you.” Kim takes it and cleans Kyros hands and as she gives it away, he holds onto it.

“Where’d you go before this?”

“I was with Aisha Masi.”

Ky looks concerned, “In the oil?”

Kim looks confused, “The oil?” Kyros flips over Kim’s hand and there’s small marks of oil on her hand that he begins to wipe as he smelled something off that couldn’t be Kim’s perfume. She smelt like flowers all the time. “ Oh, car oil. Uh, Aisha Masi got a new car for her wife.”

“A Porsche?”

“How’d you know?”

“Khala drives one.”

“Khala Sej or Khala Ins?”

“Khala Ins. Khala Sej drives a Rhombo.”

“A Bronco?”

“Yeah.” The bodyguard takes the disposed tissue and Nicole’s smile drops at her outstretched hand of lotion.

Kim takes it, thanking her and squeezes enough for Kyros who puts it on both hands. The bodyguard returns the lotion and to his post. Trini smiles at Ky’s efforts to rub lotion on Kim’s hands. The half-Indian woman accepts her fate as he gets lotion in-between her rings. The baptism goes on and Kyros is patient.

He braces back and lays against Kim’s chest as the baptism goes on. He alternates between playing with the rings on her fingers. Trini notices the random patterns he draws and as she tries to look away, all 4 of them notice it too. Trini goes red at being caught, she was never going to live this down.

Kim was sitting next to her in church and like the wildest dream Trini’s ever had, she couldn’t tear her eyes away for the surreal sight.

Especially when Kim hugs Kyros and presses kisses to his cheek. His little hands hold onto Kim’s arms and face releasing soft giggles that can only be heard by the two of them as Father Lee over the mic was loud enough.

He follows along with the ceremony and relaxes into Kim’s arms. At one point, Trini thought he’d fall asleep from how comfy he looked. He was resting in Kim’s arms with her full attention on him as she’d draw soft patterns on his hands.

sh*t, Trini would fall asleep too.

Soon enough, the ceremony is over and in the church crowd, Trini loses sight of Kim and Kyros. She spots them talking to Sof, Isa and Nicole but after that, they’re gone.

“Maybe, they left.”

“She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to us or the girls.”

“You seem very confident in your newfound knowledge.”

“I am.” Trini raises a challenging eyebrow. “Why, complaining to Mami won’t help this time?”

Anya cutely frowns, “Did you see the way Mami looked at her? It’s like we were intruding on their meet-and-greet.” Trini grins as they continue down into the main foyer. The Latina had a lot of thoughts about Mami and Kim’s interaction.

The way Kim froze and locked her gaze onto Mami as if she was confirming that this was the woman Kim loved hearing about from Trini. The instant bow to touch Mami’s feet as a sign of respect completely shocked Trini.

Trini hadn’t seen Kim seek anyone’s blessings by her own choice.

What brought back Trini to that instantly warm feeling she always got when she saw Kim was her hugging Mami back. Physical touch was something so special with Kim and to see her not shy away from it with Mami gave Trini hope.

What hope? Trini wasn’t ready to talk about all of that.

It’s when she exits in the main foyer, she finds the half-Indian woman near another woman who was holding a sleeping Ky in her arms. He was knocked out.

Trini and Anya only happen to catch the end of the conversation as they appear. “Thanks, Sej, I’ll see him soon.”

“No problem, fairygirl.” Kim laughs as she turns around to find the two women behind her.

“Was that Khala Sej or Khala Ins? I need to ask why Ky speaks two languages.”

“ He speaks more than 3.”

“No way.”

Kim smiles in a way that Trini knew all too well. Anya was avoiding Kim and Kim had picked up on it. “I didn’t think you’d be interested. Welcome back home. How was Brazil?”

Anya smiles in an off-guard way where she didn’t expect the sincerity in Kim’s voice as Kim’s eyes were a bit guarded. “I didn’t think your bite was big enough to scare second row to her maker [God] but here we are on a random Sunday with you wearing Ita’s gift, which look amazing, by the way.” Trini saw the Bella Nude heels from Vestida y Alborotada. How wasn’t Kim freezing? Was this a London thing?

Kim doesn’t seem so happy that Anya was now talking to her because they happened to be in the same space. “Thanks.”

Kim’s one word response must hurt Anya’s feelings as to why she was avoiding Kim. Naturally, the Marathi woman caves in. “There’s this cafe on Davenport and Saybrook. Would you want to talk there?”

Kim thinks about it, Anya sees that much. She decides as she glances inside before agreeing. “You mean, the basketball bakery?”

“It won’t be crowded; we’ll be able to hear each other. I haven’t been there yet, and I’ve promised Trini to go since last week. It’s rated the---”

They chorus. “--best bakery in Orange County.”

Kim admits, “I know.”

Trini endearingly smiles at her best friend who was trying to make amends. “So?”

Kim searches Anya’s expression for something. “Sure, I’ll meet you there.”

“See you in 20.”

Kim smirks at the ETA. Trini grins at the confidence. “20, yeah.” Anya chuckles as they both exit the church and Kim hops into her Telluride on the road. Anya and Trini wave as they exit the parking lot and pass Kim’s Telluride that goes the opposite way.

Shugar Shack did not disappoint with the wide variety of pastries. Kim was eying the Ube matcha with oat milk as she placed the orders for the two Vienna lattes with vanilla sweet cold foam made with oat milk. Once the order of the vegan tres leches cake and croissants were made, Kim sees the two women walk in, taking in the space with excited eyes. It so happens to play as Bayan’s cousin smirks as she prepares their order.

[♫I Like Me Better Mashup♫]

you don’t know and neither do i

Anya’s absentmindedly murmuring the lyrics like muscle memory and Trini’s already pulling her in for a little dance.

i like me better when I’m with you

Anya mouths it to Trini as their hands turn and circle around each other.

i knew from the first time

Trini leans it, mouthing it to Anya who looks at her like she was the biggest superstar the Marathi woman had ever seen. It’s then when Kim notices that the sneakers she had swapped in the car now matched Trini’s. Trini who was wearing denim blue guayabera button down and off-white slacks paired with her Nike Blazer Mid ‘77. They were both wearing the pink check ones.

i'd stay for a long time ‘cause

Anya twirls Trini into, her back flush against her as the Latina chuckles. Swaying them back and forth which garners a few admirers of the joy radiating from the two women.

i like me better when

i like me better when i’m with you

The beat drops and Trini dips Anya who’s earth shattering smile makes all of them smile, even Kim who was seeing the two best friends in their true element. The Latina pulls Anya up with ease in a spin that releases a childlike chuckle from the Marathi woman. An image that would soon be both of their lockscreens with a blur of laughter, smiles and not a care in the world.

oh beloved, this world is of no significance

oh beloved, i sacrificed everything on your kindness

oh beloved, i won everything when i lost to you

Trini and Anya separately dance towards and backwards from each other. At one point, they’re both nodding along to the song, which cracks up all the staff. The song ends, and they’re shocked at the tiny claps in applause they get.

Skirting over to pastries, they’re actively talking about what they want to get, and Kim notes it as they slide on closer to her at the register. They aren’t aware that she’s here until they turn to greet the person at the register, and Kim’s there, which slowly drops the smiles from both their faces.

“You know what, I’m not going to even ask how. You got us a table?”

“I did, it’s the one near the Frida Kahlo painting.”

“Of course, it is.” Anya looks at towards the staff member behind the cash register. “Hello.”

“Hey, your order will be out in the next 3 minutes.”

Anya blinks with an line smile on her face, Trini was trying so hard not to laugh. “Did you at least get the croissants?”

Kim sweetly responds, “All of them, for you to try.” Trini snickers out a laugh at Anya’s accepting defeat that Kim had paid the bill for a treat Anya invited her to.

“Wonderful, as for drinks, surprise me.” Anya glares at the barista she knew. “What happened?”

Bayan’s cousin looks up, smiling as she nods for them to go and that she’d join them later. Anya heads to the table with a chuckling Trini and amused Kim in tow. The same order of walking is the same way Trini finds herself in the middle of Anya on her left and Kim on her right. Kim’s fixing her jacket off her shoulders and around her waist. Out of the corner of her eye, Kim sees Bayan’s cousin advancing towards them when Anya begins to speak.

“So...I’ve been avoiding you.”

Kim speaks without looking at Anya as she was still fixing her jacket. “Ba noticed.”

“How? She just got back.”

Kim grins at her, putting her phone on the table. “You want to ask how about a mother when Mrs. Ibarra surprises you on a daily basis?”

Anya smirks at Kim’s formalness with Mami, “Didn’t know you were a fan.”

Kim glances at Trini whose eyes were already on Kim’s before glancing back at Anya. “Didn’t know you weren’t.”

“Coming in hot, Hart. Alright. ” Bayan’s cousin slides the tray with the pastries and it’s all hands on deck as they pick out the dishes they wanted. Bayan’s cousin goes back for the drinks.

“She wasn’t born in Hounslow with you, right?”

“No, in Sale.”

Anya says it like she stores the information in her mind, Trini knew that’s what Kim was seeing as her curious and slightly proud smile said. “ Sale, England. That’s a part of Greater Manchester. How did she end up with all of you in Hounslow?”

Kim says it like it was the easiest thing in the world, “In Wembley with Masa or Southhall with Nana. We knew each other before we could speak.”

“What you two have is special.”

“Is that what you called me to tell me?” Kim stares at Anya and Trini thanks Bayan’s cousin.

“Shani, how could you?” Shani laughs.

Shani motions towards Kim who smiles warmly at the barista as Anya messes with her, “She knows my cousin. She’s been in our family for a while now.”

“Add me to the WhatsApp chat too, I wanna say salam to all the cousins.” Trini grins at Anya’s easiness that she had with people.

“I will. Before you leave, I’ll add you. Let me know if y’all need anything else.” Shani walks away and Trini notices that Kim got a steaming hot vanilla chai.

“Vienna latte, sweet vanilla cold foam, dusted with hot cocoa, made with oat milk.” Kim sips on her hot tea, not breaking a sweat as she glances over her cup at them.

Trini takes a sip of it, humming at the flavors complimenting each other well. She glances at Anya who's wondering why Kim knows that. She finds the source, “I have feelings for her, I don’t do well with those. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings in trying to figure them out.” Kim stares at Anya and Trini thanks Bayan’s cousin.

Kim looks at Anya hard and long before she studies her cup, “Is that why you’re avoiding me?”

“I...”

“I don’t need an answer right now. I’m not asking because I know how you prefer vanilla sweet cold foam over whipped cream, that you only eat whipped cream when you’re in a particular mood and if then so, it’s from the can. I know that you’re a true foodie, home cooked meals are the way to your heart and you dream of one day, opening the door to your home and the scent of food being cooked by your wife ready for you.” Trini looks at her best friend, knowing that her eyes were locked on Kim’s golden orbs that hadn’t let up from her cup.

“I know that while you adore animals, dogs scared you as you grew up with one that didn’t have a great ending.” Trini takes a larger sip at that one, how in the world did Alysiah know that? They didn’t even talk about that. Dito, this was going to hurt. “I know that terms of endearment aren’t easy for you, they don’t naturally slip out. When they do, that means that there is something there.” If Trini could scream, she would at that particular moment because it was the lightbulb moment for the Latina that this wasn’t a fling.

“I know all of this by being present and showing up.” Kim looks Anya squarely in her eyes. “I imagine it would be different if I asked.”

Anya warns the 24-year-old with a tilt of her head in a plea. “ Don’t tell me that, Hart. I’m trying to let go, not hold on.”

A subtle ear-to-ear smile graces Kim’s face. “You wouldn’t be meeting the person that reminds you the most of her if you were [trying to let go].”

“Are you encouraging me?”

“Do you need it?”

Anya huffs, helplessly with a laugh. “I don’t know what I need. I feel insane, I just found out she’s a doctor and Holland’s her brother.”

“You know two facts that even Billy and Zack don’t know.” Trini and Anya shift to the left in synchronization with similar looks of shock. Kim tilts her head in ‘that’s not my place to say anything’ as she holds the cup of chain in her hand for another sip.

“It’s Holland, her and Vida.”

“You’re identifying her as the middle child."

“Spoken like a true one.” Kim raises an amused eyebrow as her lips twitch with a smile. “She did her schooling in Vancouver, that’s where her accent comes from.”

“You think she has a Canadian accent?”

“You think she has an English accent.” Anya shrugs. “Agree to disagree, I think it’s hot either way.”

“Glad to know that accents do it for you.”

“What does it for you?” Kim glances at Trini who was looking at Kim with a waiting expression out of curiosity now, stares at her with an indescribable look as her lips part with a loss of words.

There was not enough time in the day to talk about how expressive Trini’s mesmerizing eyes were. Kim takes a large sip of her chai as Anya continues. Trini busies her with anything else than the conversation happening in front of her by glancing at the baristas. It looks like they were teasing one of the baristas who was blushing at their crush who was advancing into the coffee shop. It made sense as the song changed. It didn’t make sense as Trini focused back to the conversation while Kim grabbed Shani’s attention for her Ube strawberry matcha latte.

The half-Indian woman’s coat was around her waist, showcasing the dusty rose backless ribbed long sleeved top. If Trini didn’t believe in Jesus, she did seeing Kim’s back muscles.

[♫Bring It Back♫]

act fool

act fool

act fool

act fool

act fool

act fool

Trini tears her gaze away as she blushes at the sight. She mindlessly grabs her drink, sipping it as a distraction from her thoughts.

act fool

act fool

Turning to see Anya, the Marathi woman had a sly smile on her face in appreciation because goddamn, Kim’s back muscles were flexing in all the right places. Anya gives Trini a face of approval as she tilts her head in a ‘that’s your woman, bestie’ face. Trini instantly cackles.

It wasn’t a foreign feeling. The moment might have been small to others and for Trini, it was the world. A moment of relief and happiness.

She was in California, a place she hadn’t pictured herself in, at the bakery with a woman she had feelings for as her best friend of her choice, supported her and encouraged her in her feelings.

18-year-old Trini would be so happy.

As Anya confirms more information about Alysiah, they get to a question that even Trini was curious about.

“Zand isn’t in the picture.”

“He is, in his memorial prayer card.”

Anya has to sit back and sip her drink at that one. Kim was never in the mood to f*ck around when it came to Alysiah and Anya could respect that. “Her Baba’s name is Maisil, Maisil Harris who’s Holland’s dad. Ilhan, my--”

“--I know who Ilhan is.”

“--I’m still going to say it.” Kim nods. “Ilhan and Holland know each other.”

“Ilhan’s about to know more people in our circle, he’s going to India this year for humanitarian work, right?” Anya nods, she thought her face would give her away that she was also joining in on this trip. That was a conversation that she was going to have with Trini today.

“Our sister company...” Anya pauses, seeing Kim’s phone light up and the half-Indian woman glances down at it, watching it ring. She sees two men enter the bakery and eye her as they sit out of eyesight of Anya and Trini. Kim adjusts her jacket around her shoulders and Anya feels like she should say it’s okay to take the call, but she ends up giving vague hand gestures that convey ‘it’s okay’ and Trini notices the call goes unanswered.

Kim doesn’t find any problem with it as the phone lights up again and Kim answers it this time. Anya and Trini take a sip of their latte seeing Kim get an earful that she looks happily content to receive.

“One of us has to stay level headed, you bring the fire and I’ll make space for all of your emotions.”

Alysiah frowns. “I’m sorry, I woke up and you weren’t here. I got scared.”

“You’re allowed to be scared, my love.”

“I don’t feel so great.”

“I know, Soran told me before I stopped for chai.”

“Hm, you’re having chai. Is it good? I’m hungry. Where’s the nurse?”

“They’re by the station, I’ll tell them for you.” Kim taps away on her phone. “They’re telling me to give them the phone, I don’t want to. I want you here. Can you be here?”

“I will be, I have a whole week off. Watch an episode of QOT and I’ll be there.”

“She’s sick and I am too.” Kim smiles as Alysiah’s voice fades and the nurse speaks to Kim. “Hello.”

“Dr. Houghlin, hello. Have you been updated on Dr. Marvin’s visit?”

“No but a shoe change was essential by Soran.” Trini and Anya, in a not-so-subtle way, duck under the table to see Kim’s shoes and they’re the same shoes that Trini had on. Trini’s jaw drops and Anya’s phone captures the matching sneakers for scientific purposes.

“They were exposed to toxic waste in a rescue, medications have been administered. She has a few cuts and bruises.”

“Nothing major?”

“She initially had swelling on her hands that went down as they were bandaged. We induced vomiting as it was necessary to dispose to any possible remains of the waste. Dr. Houghlin, this is the first time she’s been in a toxic waste rescue?”

“No, countless rescues. What makes you say this?”

“She’s been trying to send a text message to someone all morning. A number that isn’t saved and she remembers it. We hear murmurs of your name and someone else’s. This person isn’t listed on her emergency contacts. I’m unsure of how to proceed with this information.” The nurse is quiet as she looks at Alysiah who exits her WINGS with a sigh of relief. Kim waits on the other side of the call and sees Anya’s watch light up with a text message from a number that was in the same geographic location where Lys currently was.

Oaxaca, Mexico.

Anya stares at the text for a good minute and Trini’s focused on Anya, not noticing that Kim was looking at Anya as well. The Marathi woman damn well knew who this was from. The timing was impeccable as she was seated with Kim. Alysiah texting her asking about her well-being made her heart race and mind wander. Was she okay?

Trini and Anya turn back to Kim who looks at them, sipping on her matcha latte. Her phone was gone.

“Everything okay?” They ask at the same time and Anya offers Kim to answer it first.

“A stop on the way home.”

“Nothing major?”

“An ambulance might need to be called...for them, not me.” Ace and Nick exit the bakery at Kim’s glare when the two women she was with laugh at her joke. Their exit goes unnoticed by the two women at Kim’s table but everyone else sees it.

“How about you, everything alright?”

“I think I’m going to need to talk to your friend.”

Kim hums, glancing at Trini who was a silent supporter in the entire conversation. “Hm.”

Anya picks up on Kim’s gaze. “Now that I’ve got you here, I think I’d be good if we could all have this chat on why Mez doesn’t have a bigger lawn to play in?”

Trini nearly chokes on her latte out of confusion. “What?”

“Yeah, T, do you not want to give Mez that 2-acre lawn to run wild on?” Trini exhales in confusion and furrows her brows in ‘where the f*ck is this coming from’ to her best friend.

Kim jumps on the teasing train with Anya, “There might be something else there.” Trini turns to look at Kim with alarming eyes that she was joining in on this. “You know, it’s for her protection.”

“Yeah, but she has you, me and PALMS. What more could she need?” Anya extends an arm around the back of Trini’s seat.

Kim tilts her head, genuinely asking. “Is there something else that you need?” Trini exhales a breath full of wishes of Kim.

Shani stops in front of the table. “Everything alright here? You ladies need anything?”

All three of them turn to look at Shani, not realizing how close they had inched up to Trini. The Latina in question speaks, “The vegan tres leches cake to go, please.”

“I got you.”

“Thank you.”

Kim and Anya look at each other before backing off with equally amused smiles on their faces that Trini looks unamused by.

“Hart, thanks for the outing. Next time, it’s my treat and you’re tagging along for the journey.”

Kim grins as she slips on out of her seat. “Sure, let’s see. Get home safe.”

Trini responses with a genuine smile, her soured expression from earlier was gone. “You too.”

As Kim boards the plane to Mexico, her bag already packed for Trinidad and Tobago. Trini settles in a chair to read a bit before she goes to bed. She was sleeping over at Anya’s with Mez for the weekend. Mez was sound asleep in Anya’s room as the Marathi woman advanced towards her with a cup of water placed next to the table where Trini’s book once was. “Thanks.”

“Of course, you’re far into the book?”

“No, it’s just starting to warm up on me. What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the humanitarian work that the company is doing.”

“Ilhan’s company and yours?”

“Yes. I agreed a few years back by word of mouth that I’d go. Ilhan formally did it. I didn’t think anyone remembered my promise. I was wrong, people requested for me to go with them.”

“You’d be the perfect person for it. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to go.”

“I’d be gone for a huge chunk of the year, nearly 5 months.”

“I can visit you?”

“Of course.”

“Then what are you worried about? This is a great chance to live one of your wildest dreams.”

“Things are moving so fast with you, I blink, and you’ll be gone to another country. I don’t want to miss out on cheering you on.”

Trini reaches out to place her hand over Anya’s nervous hand on her knee. “I don’t want to miss cheering you on for this, you’ve talked about it for so long and now you finally get the chance to create a team and move forward with a project that you hold dearly to your heart, no pun intended.”

Anya chuckles. “None taken, I didn’t even know she knew.” Anya glances at Trini and their hands. “You’ll visit me every month or whenever you can?”

“Ilhan will send the jet for me, I’m sure Misfah and I are on the same page with our favorite architects.”

Anya sniffles and Trini wraps her in a hug, her book forgotten. A thousand and something miles away, Kim wrapped her best friend in a hug, her favorite k-drama forgotten as they both fell asleep on the hospital bed.