The conflict between a woman and her son's 23-year-old girlfriend has sparked debate among viewers on social media.
The mother took to Reddit, where she is known as u/status-parfait-9956, on June 16 to detail why she has locked horns with her son's pregnant girlfriend. The girlfriend, who is eight months pregnant, had not been maintaining the cleanliness of their shared home—which led her partner's mother warning that she would kick her out if things did not improve. The post has accumulated over 16,000 upvotes and 2,200 comments in less than 24 hours.
"My son and his girlfriend have been dating since college," the woman said. "They graduated last year and are 22 and 23."
"They used to have an apartment together but soon found out that she was pregnant. I was not happy when they informed me. I knew they could not afford it, but they wanted to keep the baby," she added.
The woman reluctantly agreed to let the young couple move into her spacious home, on the condition that they would help with chores and purchase their own food. However, she soon became frustrated with their lack of cleanliness, particularly her son's girlfriend's untidy habits.
"In this situation, the mom has every right to be upset that her son and future daughter-in-law are making her house a mess," Nicole Moore, a relationship and body language expert, told Newsweek. "One of the basic etiquette rules of being someone's house guest for an extended period of time is to keep yourself tidy and to try as much as possible not to burden the homeowner with your mess.
The situation escalated when the woman tripped over the girlfriend's shoes after returning home with groceries.
"I had enough," she said. "I told her that she isn't giving birth to Jesus, and that if she doesn't clean then she can get out of my house."
Her ultimatum led to a confrontation, in which the girlfriend burst into tears and her partner turned against his mother.
"I reminded him that I am doing them a huge favor and doubled down on cleaning," the woman added.
"It sounds like the son's girlfriend is an inherently messy person and the stress of impending motherhood is only making the situation worse," Moore said. "It's unrealistic for the mom to expect that her son's girlfriend will change her behavior, as many people have a very hard time changing habits, especially under stress."
Instead of trying to change the girlfriend's behavior, Moore said that alternative solutions to maintaining a clean household could be put to use.
"The mom might ask her son and his girlfriend to pay for a housekeeper if they don't want to keep the house tidy themselves," she said.
"The mom might also decide which cleaning tasks are the most essential, such as keeping the front entryway clean, and give her son and his girlfriend a list of must-do tasks. That way, they can focus on the most critical areas to restore some order to the household."
The relationship expert emphasized that while the situation is less than ideal for the woman, clear communication and setting realistic expectations could help prevent things from getting to the point when the couple are asked to leave.
"It's not ideal for the mom to have to live in a messy house, but given that she probably doesn't really want to kick her son out, her only option is to try and get as many of her cleanliness needs met while accepting that the house probably won't be as clean as she wants it to be while they are living with her," Moore said.
The post quickly ignited a discussion online, with many Reddit users siding with the woman while others offered their own advice on how she could negotiate with her son's girlfriend.
"I'm going to reluctantly say [not the a******] because technically you're in the right but really you should have dealt with this months ago," one user wrote.
Another added: "I am the mother of three kids around this age and I support your parenting. It works to make them accountable and responsible. She can go live with her own mom."
"Start charging rent, use it to hire a cleaning service," a third user said. Their comment has been upvoted 4,800 times and invited plenty of other users to voice the same advice, but not everyone agreed.
U/notscruffynerfherder commented: "This is TERRIBLE advice! Though I'm sure it is inadvertently terrible due to lack of knowledge about tenancy law. DO NOT, under any circ*mstances, charge them any rent. If you charge them rent they become tenants that are impossible to evict."
Newsweek reached out to u/status-parfait-9956 for more information via Reddit.
If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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