HOW MUCH IS THAT BMW IN THE WINDOW? (2024)

But I am not the only one sorry to see yuppies go. The auto moguls

are probably panicked. Yuppies helped create a whole new market for

upscale performance sedans, and up until a year ago it appeared that

every manufacturer this side of Sri Lanka was gearing up a zoomy

offering for them. The Europeans, understandably, had a leg up on the

competition. After all, yuppies revere good taste, and their antennae

naturally leaned toward the Continent and its mother lodes of good food,

good fashion and good cars.

The BMW 320i was the linchpin of this market. It was boxy but brash,

mechanically subtle but sophisticated, stern but honest, and its

$20,000-ish price put it within the realm of yuppie lust. There were

other successful Europeans, including the Swedish twins, Saab and Volvo,

the four-cylinder Porsches and the Mercedes- Benz 190E. Among them, they

seemed to form the nucleus for a vast new market other manufacturers

were eager to pluck like a Christmas goose.

Along came Honda's Acura Division for a piece of the action, followed

by high-riding Ford Motor Co., with its Lincoln Continental and its West

German-built Merkur and Scorpio. The arena began to get a bit cozy. Word

arrived that Nissan and Toyota were about to launch entries. Uneasiness

struck the contenders, especially Audi, whose image had been unfairly

battered by problems with unintended acceleration in its 5000 model, and

Peugeot, whose American marketing had never been effective.

But for a while everyone hoped that the yuppies could absorb the

burgeoning offerings. These were power shoppers, unafraid of staggering

debt in the name of status. They could be expected to accept the

obligation of more elaborate automotive purchases. Then, about a year

ago, came the three tsunamis that washed over these hapless pioneers of

conspicuous consumption. First were changes in the tax laws, which

limited business write-offs for expensive cars and gradually eliminated

the tax deduction for interest payments on car loans. Then Wall Street

caved in, depreciating the value of yuppie investments and triggering

massive devaluation of the dollar. That set up the final wave: increases

in the costs of European cars approaching 30 percent. Yuppies are

borrowers, but enough is enough.

The decline in yuppie buying power has left considerable wreckage in

the car business. Consider these figures:

Compared with 1987, BMW sales are off 21 percent. Volvo is down 14

percent. Saab is selling 15 percent fewer cars here. Jaguar, which

concentrates solely on the over-$40,000 market, has lost about 8 percent

in sales. Mercedes-Benz is off 6 percent. And that's the good news.

Porsche is down 36 percent, and Audi is off a whopping 48 percent.

Sterling sales are off nearly a third, and Alfa Romeo and Peugeot are

each down about 27 percent. Maserati reportedly still has unsold 1985

models.

This is not a small market, either -- we're talking about a lot of

cars. Production of $25,000-plus automobiles is running at more than

850,000 units a year.

So what are the upscale producers doing about the glut? Making even

more high-priced models, of course. BMW is entering the joust with a

dazzling new 5-series sedan to match its overpowering 12-cylinder 750i.

Audi is coming to market with a $50,000, V-8, four- wheel-drive sedan.

Toyota's ultra-high-tech Lexus and Nissan's Infiniti are already getting

rave reviews, and they won't be on the market for nearly a year. With

its legendary quick turnaround time, Honda is readying a powerful

second-generation Acura. Saab has just come to market with a superb

9000CD sedan, and Peugeot has introduced its fine 405 sports sedan. Alfa

Romeo has just hooked up with Chrysler for a North American marketing

deal and can be expected to launch a series of faster, flashier Italian

machines.

Ford is now a player with its zoomy SHO Taurus, and Mercedes-Benz has

responded with a sleeker, sexier, better performing second edition of

its 190 series. Audi has introduced its new 80 and 90 models, fine

machines but slow starters because of lingering image problems and a

price that seems to be about $5,000 too high. Porsche is struggling

desperately to provide an alternative to its 944 models, which are being

eaten alive by better performing Mazdas, Nissans and Toyotas costing

half as much. BMW is in a fevered rush to update its aging 3-series,

while Mercedes-Benz, its rival down the autobahn, is thrashing to

counter the 750i with its own V-12.

None of it seems to make much sense. With such over-supply, some

manufacturers are certainly headed for severe financial difficulties.

The British used to pride themselves that their tony race meets at

Aintree and Epsom Downs attracted "the right crowd with no crowding."

Here, in the luxury car business, we have the "right crowd very

crowded." It is a vista that brings a tear to many an auto exec's steely

eye and makes him wonder: Where are the yuppies now that we need them?

Can't somebody do something to revive them? This is an emergency!

Imagine all those lush, lacquered, lithe $30,000 super sedans sitting in

the showrooms, unwanted and unloved. How about a Yuppie Aid concert? Get

Bob Geldof on line two!

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